Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

as a child I was molested and then raped as a teen. I've never felt anything during sex, i get excited, i want it and i love being made love to but i dont feel what i'm supposed to feel. I've tried therapy and that hasnt worked. Some positions even hurt me and i wind up tensing up. has this ever happened to anyone, were you able to get any help? adult content

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Dec. 9, 2010 in Health

Answers (3)
  • No, but I think it is more for woman as a feeling..

    I think maybe you want to feel good but can't because you never forgave the horrible people for doing what they did.... You can't forgive them until you forgive your self-which is a lot of work. Not like you did anything wrong but you must forgive your self and then forgive them and move on.... Sounds strange but God could help you find your way, read the bible if you believe if not find a way to forgive so you can move on....

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:18 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • One of the hardest things to do is to separate sexual abuse from sex itself. Personally, I dealt with alot of guilt and shame because when I finally did have sex and was arounsed and enjoyed it, I thought it meant that I had enjoyed being abused as well. I didn't understand then that my body had gone through the physical act of arousal to protect itself and that one did not equal the other. Amazingly, it took a male friend of mine, who had also been abused as a child, to help me sort out my tangled mess of a mind.

    As for the sex itself, you said you get aroused, but some positions hurt and make you tense up. Can you try other positions or acts that don't hurt? Does your partner know what you experienced? Can you slow down and remain in some "happy medium" where you're doing something sexual that you find pleasurable, but not progressing into acts that trigger you?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I have a friend who had simular issues & found Tantric practice helpful.

    Answer by oregongal at 2:27 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.