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Never had an orgasm during sex... adult content

I am almost 30, have been married 2 times, experienced all sorts of sex in my life with different partners, different positions, etc. I'm not nervous or have any kind of aprehensions during sex, but I have NEVER in 10 years had an orgasm during sex. The ONLY way is to use a toy and then have him insert during the use of the toy on the outside. Most of the time, I just fake it in order to make him feel like he's making me cum. What is going on? I won't go to some therapist or anything, and I have no medical problems. I guess I've never worried about it since I can just use a toy later and masturbate if I need to, but wow, never having an orgasm with a partner, from just sex and foreplay, is really odd isn't it? What can I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Dec. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Oh you poor thing you!!!!! I would show my partner exactly where he has to go for you to achieve this, and once he has got the spot, the rest will be easy. You need to experiment with your own body and see where is your spot and guide him there, good luck.

    Answer by older at 2:28 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • The majority of women must have clitoral stimulation (which you do with a toy it sounds lke) &/or G-spot stimulation in order to orgasm.
    The most sensitive areas for a woman are those 2 areas, the largest amount of nerve endings are located in the clit and g spot. Stimulation of one or both of those areas is a must in order for most women to orgasm.The inside of the vagina itself has very few nerve endings. Some women do have "patches" located on the vaginal wall somewhere, but those spots are even harder to hit.
    The best ways to achieve orgasm during intercourse are: being in positions where the clit &/or g spot are stimulated, manual stimulation of the clit during intercourse.

    There's nothing wrong with you.Your normal. No therapy needed. I would suggest this though. No more faking it. Let him know what you need/want in order to orgasm. If he thinks he's getting you off, then he's going to keep doing what he's doing

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:33 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Cont. From above.

    He's just going to keep doing what he's doing and you will still be unsatisfied once all is said and done.

    If you do not know what all it takes to get you off. Start experimenting and exploring your own sexuality and discovering those things. Then teach them/show them/share them with your partner. If you do know those things already. Stop faking it and star teaching him/showing him/sharing those thigns with him so that the two of you can work together to make the sex better for you.

    Open honest sexual communication is very important. It's one of the main ways that a couple is able to work together in order for sex to be great for both of them.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:35 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Sometimes it helps to incorporate a toy!

    Answer by ditchen4 at 2:48 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I agree...some type of stimulation is required on one of these two spots but what happens when you use TOYS is that they desensitize the spots and it then becomes harder and harder to achieve. Talk to your doctor, I know that they are minor outpatient procedures that can be done that turn this situation around 180 degrees. I had a friend like that and since she didn't feel much, she didn't enjoy it much and she didn't want to have sex at all. This was affecting her marriage so when she had it done, OMG...she tells me that he has to beat her off with a stick these days...LOL!

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 2:49 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Well I have had this problem in the past. The thing is women take more time to heat up. I have had oral sex with my husband and then I got on top of him and a few more orgasms while he was inside of me. IT was freaking awesome. Try it. Maybe it will work.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 4:09 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Good luck! I know I use to be able to when he was sitting on the couch and I'm on top. Using the back of the couch to grip on. Don't know if it was the position or if it was the combination of everything leading to it.

    Answer by MommabearGrr at 5:19 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

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