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I've fallen in love with my best friend...

We are both currently in a relationship, but neither of us are happy where we're at right now. We work together, and I feel a really deep connection with him, we have fallen in love with each other. We are both going to do this right, and take care of our issues before jumping into a relationship with each other.

My question is...I have to see him every day, and act like we are just friends, when my heart is basically exploding. How should I handle this? I know we have to wait, it's just so hard. Anyone have any similar stories? I could use the encouragement.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Dec. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • well why dont you both just end the relationships your in right now...and then it wont be a problem ?

    and yes I once got into a relationship with my best friend... it ruined everything and we dont talk anymore.

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 3:05 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • My advice, for what you find it worth: You say that "neither of you are happy where we're at right now." That seems like the most important issue to address first. If you ignore what is making you generally unhappy in life (and I would say you might need to do some digging, perhaps with a qualified therapist to uncover what's creating this unhappiness rather than pin it on your current relationship and assume ending that will end all your problems) - a new relationship isn't going to fix how you feel.

    If you simply dive into this new relationship, you are still going to be unhappy once the initial "I'm doing something new and exciting!" thing wears off. You have two completely separate problems: 1) You are unhappy in your current relationship (and possibly with other aspects of your life) and 2) you have a crush on your friend. Issue #2 is going to be tainted and come to no good end if you don't address problem #1 first.

    Answer by whatthewhat at 3:11 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • First of all...please...PLEASE slow the fuck down!!! I know you feel like your madly, deeply in love but it could also be that you are so unhappy where your at, that anything else would seem amazing. You need to step back from this situation. Put a complete stop to it...I would even change jobs...and either finish what you have now or see if it's just your current "exploding" love that's making what you have seem so horrible. If you're done with what you have...finish it completely and at that point...I would actually take time for my self but in your case, if your ready then and only then...go for it.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 3:21 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I am not trying to rush this, I do want to take time for myself, and I will before getting into another relationship. But I really feel I am done with the one I have. He's cheated on me, and I just can't get over that. The love is just not there for me anymore. I cannot change jobs, and I have to wait to get out of this relationship for reasons that would take too long to explain. But I am not trying to rush this.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:26 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Falling in love with your best friend is always good....but in this case, you each have relationships. Work on the ones you have . then if they can't be fixed, end them and move on.

    Answer by kerp1960 at 3:28 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • shruggingSounds like your the mistress. The mistress usually ends up with disappointment. I had to learn a lesson the hard way. I was involved with someone that I worked with. I cheated on my boyfriend at the time. Ended up, quiting my good job and relationship. It turned out that he was not into having a family with me.


    Answer by sexyfancyface at 3:31 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • sometimes the green is greener on the other side of the fence
    because it is a septic field

    Answer by fiatpax at 3:32 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I don't think I'm a mistress. Neither of us are cheating on our current SO's, we are not that kind of people.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:34 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • What you have is infatuation not I would fix what is broken with you and then let love find you a great guy who is available will come along. You are rushing things.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • confusedWell, are you sexually active.  If so, use a condom.


    Answer by sexyfancyface at 3:38 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

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