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This question is for MIL who have to share their son with another woman!

I'm not saying all MILs are like this but my MIL feels she has more 'right' to my df than me and our 3 kids do! She honestly feels like she should come before us and always asks for my df to come over and do her stupid projects for her, and if he says no she makes him feel extremely guilty! She refuses to think of herself as the 'extended' family now! Do you guys feel the same way or do you respect that they've made their own family?


Oh and df and I have been together for 4 1/2 years, living together for 3yrs and have a 2yr old, 1yr old, and 3 month old!

Answer Question
 
SabrenaLeigh

Asked by SabrenaLeigh at 8:19 PM on Dec. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (14,998 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Wow! I thought I was the only one who had MIL like that! Join the club sister!! =P Sorry to say it doesnt get any better and she will NEVER change... my MIL still refuses to consider us married eventhough we have been for 4 years now and we are pregnant. You are def not alone. Hang in there and try to stay sane. I had to finally ask my husband to stick up for me and tell his mother who his family was... Your DF is going to have to set some ground rules with his mommie if you want this to all work out alright. She will ruin you relationship... I know mine sure tried. Good LUCK!!! =)
    NewMommie333

    Answer by NewMommie333 at 8:24 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I don't understand MIL's that act this way. Even with my oldest sons now ex wife I did all I could to embrace her and them as a family. Maybe it's different when they live close. My oldest son was stationed 300-1500 miles away from us. My youngest son is only 2.5 hrs away..but it is still hard to get together. He calls me at LEAST twice a week...but I'm not in the middle of their business. I love his wife very much. She is good to him, her parents treat him well. Maybe 'leave and cleave' is just part of my mind set and not others.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:25 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • She's not "extended family" - she is his mother. She was there way before you. No, she shouldn't be MORE important than you or the kids, but there is no reason she should be LESS important.
    Holly.

    Answer by Holly. at 8:30 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • i love my MIL. She is great. we are family..i'm not trying to keep anything from her..as far as i'm concerned my business can be shared with her. We are great friends. I don't understand why some people get all bent out of shape about their parents knowing stuff that goes on in their lives. Is it a pride thing? idk. My SIL is a total bitch to my MIL and i really don't understand why. my inlaws are the nicest most giving, caring people i have ever met. She gives her opinion on things and i'm happy to hear it..if i don't want to take her advice..i don't have to. I'm bold enough to stand up and tell her what i think..and she appreciates that.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:36 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • My MIL WAS NEVER LIKE THAT,THANK GOODNESS!!! aND NOW i AM A mil and never ask for any spcial consideration at all.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 8:57 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • kerp..i wonder what kind of special consideration some daughter in laws think mothers would expect???
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:06 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • dont worry mines is the EXACT same way she live(d) with us she was so controlling and nosey. She hated when we (my SO, 3 yo, and myself) would go out for family time and not include her, and she hated it even more that I took care of the house, cooking and just little jealous mood swings. So she finally blew up cursing me out and telling my SO I hurt her feelings when I cooked dinner, he gave her the ultimatum 'deal with it or you can get out' so she took the hint that her antics weren't working and packed her bags and butted out. I never wanted our relationship to be this way, but she (as some mothers) couldn't understand I will never be his mother and I never want to be but I am a woman and I know how to take care of my family.
    thelovelymzbre

    Answer by thelovelymzbre at 10:12 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

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