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missed moms birthday

my mom always wants a mediocre birthday celebration every year and felt the same about this year. She's disabled and has been out of work now for about 8 years. I just recently hit the second trimester of my pregnancy and got my hours reduced at work (manual labor job) because of my condition. My fiance and I are balancing a house and my 3 year old and a pregnancy on a pretty limited income and Christmas is right around the corner. My sister 27, who still stays with my mom and has not one financial responsibility picked a rather expensive restaurant to throw my mom a birthday party, and I had to tell my mom I couldnt make it because we financially cant afford to spend $75 on dinner right now. I dont feel bad because I know I made a decision thats going to benefit my household, I spoke to and even saw my mom on her birthday I just didnt make it to the dinner. I havent heard from her since telling her this. Should I feel bad for being financially strapped for cash?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Dec. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • noooo you can always show your appricaite for her, and celebrate with her in any other way. youre being responsible, you shouldn't feel guilty
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 9:09 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • No, in fact as a mother, I wouldn't want my kids to spend more than they afford....I sure wouldn't want my birthday to cause them financial stress!! I also think your sister was out of line to pick someplace that could be too expensive for people to go to celebrate. This is why I generally have celebrations at our home, unless I plan on picking up the entire bill.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:10 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • If you couldn't afford it there's nothing to feel bad about. Your sister could have picked a less expensive restaurant or you could have done something at home. I'm sure your mom understands and doesn't blame you.
    Don't worry about it - its not your fault. You put your family first, which is important!
    Jessica45

    Answer by Jessica45 at 9:12 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I'm sure as a mother she fully understands. You got to see her and wish her a happy birthday. I'm sure she is happy with that.
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 9:24 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • No. At least you remembered her birthday. Mine is next week and doubt if anyone remembers much less wants to have dinner with me
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:39 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Don't feel bad, as long as you remembered her birthday, she needs to understand that we are all in crisis and have to watch how we spend our $$$. She will come around, don't worry.
    bratgirln1

    Answer by bratgirln1 at 10:18 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

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