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How do you deal with your significant other being in Jail?

My boyfriend is currently in jail and he might be there for a while. We just found out a few weeks ago that we are expecting. It turns out he might be in there for quite some time and miss out on the pregnancy and the birth:(  ok to clear up the negative comments that are being left him being in jail was 1 bad decision he made and its not something that is a reaccurance for him and he is having to take all the blame for it all.

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nicolesteele7

Asked by nicolesteele7 at 9:54 PM on Dec. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (38 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I don't because I would never put up with a criminal for an SO but I would recommend that you maybe find some support groups and maybe some counseling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • This might sound mean, but I'd never be with a man who was in jail or did things that could get him in jail.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 9:56 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I'm with anon and worriedmommy.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 9:57 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I agree with the others, sorry;( It's probably a good thing he's in jail, you can go out and find a new man!
    Aquarius80

    Answer by Aquarius80 at 9:57 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I do feel bad for you and since I don't know the circumstances I won't pass judgement but if he did the crime then he does need to do the time. If you think he can be a changed man after his jail time, then involve him as much as your able with updates and such. Do not put your life on hold for him thou, enjoy your pregnancy and the birth of your baby.
    tony1638

    Answer by tony1638 at 10:00 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • well my SO was in jail for 5years ! its really hard when there is goin 2b or is a child involved bcuz you have to do double the work !
    mrzshanteb23

    Answer by mrzshanteb23 at 10:00 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • well my sons father was a repeated offender for the first year of my sons life he was in and out 3 times. ENough was enough I finally just left. You dont want to be at visitation every week with your baby turning them into a statistic taking them to a jail to see things like that before they even know what life is all about. You child needs positive role models and if the biological dad isnt making choices to be one, do like me and find another one. I found me a wonderful man who takes care of my son like hes his own, so believe me their out there. Good Luck Stay Strong.
    thelovelymzbre

    Answer by thelovelymzbre at 10:03 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Even though my husband is a booking officer and I know that he would never do anything to be put in jail, I do know that sometimes, innocent people do go to jail. I also know what it is like to go through a pregnancy while my husband is absent (he was in Iraq) So, my advice is to do what your heart leads you to do. If you want to stay with this man and he is guilty then do it (unless he is in jail for abusing you!). While he is in jail, go to the visitations if you can. Also, write to him. He is going through a hard time right now. Just be careful what you write because, the jailers do have to read over the ingoing and outgoing mail. Send pictures of your ultrasound. Keep him connected as much as possible to your pregnancy. Also, encourage him to participate in the resources that the jail offers. Good Luck!

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 10:04 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • This might be a good opportunity to put him in the past, make a brand new start and find someone who is mature,responsible and law-abiding. This guy sounds like a loser. Your baby does not need a criminal for a Father. It won't be a good thing for him to be there for the birth. STay away from the loser.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • First find out how much time he has. If it's county he'll only do a fraction of his sentence I bet. If it's state, he'll do longer. Just support him. Keep in touch, write often, visit if possible. Hopefully he'll be out before the baby comes.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:18 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

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