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How do I explain to my 3 yr old that what she was told is a lie?

I am recently going through a custody battle with the father of my daugther who is 3 years old. I dont exactly know what goes through his head but I have come to believe it is not our child's best interest. He is trying to get full custody of my daughter when I have never proved to ever be anything close to an unfit mother. In a way I am not concerned court wise but am concerned for my daughter because she has been telling me that her father, his new wife and his mother(her grandma) have been telling her very negative things about me. Such as: her grandmother telling her to be naughty for me when its my weeks to have her, her father and step mother telling her they dont like me and that she shouldnt come to my house, all 3 of them telling her that I am going to die!!!! Them all telling her that if she comes to my house that the cops are going to come and get her(mind you I have never had a criminal record minus a minor consumption when I was 19). Along with the fact that my boyfriend of 2 years that has been part of her life those 2 years is a bad bad person. I dont know how to explain to her with her believing me that all these are false:(

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nicolesteele7

Asked by nicolesteele7 at 10:31 PM on Dec. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 4 (38 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I think you should bring this up with your lawyer. Your ex can get in trouble for saying these things, and you want to be careful not to say anything to her that they could use against you. Good luck. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:35 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • That's a tough situation and very touchy. It is very hard to fight the lies without doing the same about them. All I can say is reassure her that the cops won't have any reason to come, the bf loves her a lot and that you are going to live to be very very old.
    sweet29mom

    Answer by sweet29mom at 10:36 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Just tell her that's not true. Keep telling her until she understands. Show her that none of it is true.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:36 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • your ex pices of work how dare he say this to your little girl now she does not understand what is going on the best way is talk to your
    lawyer about whats going on and tape it if you have to what he is doing abuse and he could lose every thing even his daughter
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 10:56 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Children no matter the age if there raised correctly know the difference betweem right and wrong and will be able to see that in when she is around you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I would take your daughter and all the rest of them into counseling, and request a psychological evaluation done on the ex. What terrible people, they are using her like a pawn.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:04 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I have had to go through this myself. I explained to my dd that her daddy was mad at mommy and that is the only reason he says those things. Then I said you know that mommy loves you and would never do anything to hurt you right? I took her to a psychologist and had it documented that he was telling her these things. She is now almost 4 and her dad isn't around much anymore but when he is and tries to tell her these thing she says "you need to be nice to mommy cause mommy loves me and takes good care of me"
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 11:08 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • This happened to us when we got my nephews, their grandparents and their mom kept telling them they were coming to get them, "don't let them touch you", "don't love anyone but me", "they don't love you, they just want you because they can't have their own children(I was 7 months pregnant) they told the kids if I kept them that I was going to beat them, their mom would even take their clothes when she had them(for a one hour visit, even took their underwear) and give them back a few weeks later saying she bought them. Gotta love psycho parents! The judge did nothing, we had to be perfect, they really freaked my boys out, they still get visitation. Sad.
    mlregalado

    Answer by mlregalado at 1:21 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • In answer to your question, you can't tell the child it's a lie. You have to show her. Give her the stability, the love, show her that there is nothing to fear, children are resilient. If you say that daddy is lying you become the bad guy, sad but true.
    mlregalado

    Answer by mlregalado at 1:25 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • i have had this happen before to a friend and u can bring it up to the lawyer and make sure to have documentation of when she says this and the times. It will help in th4e custody battle. but remember u can not ask her these ? she has to tell u on her own what happens at "daddy's" so that the court can use them towards ur ex.
    honey_bear_2787

    Answer by honey_bear_2787 at 11:06 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

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