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would you stand up as a witness for a friend gettin married if

you thought that he/she was doing the wrong thing.
well i have this friend, we'll call him jerry. jerry was engaged to alice until a month ago when alice was killed in an accident with jerry. jerry's car was rear ended by a semi throwing him into oncoming traffic and alice was killed on the spot,her brain stem was dislocated, this have nov 5 of this year...2010.(alice was like a daughter to me, i known her since she was 7yrs old and she was 19 when she died, i pretty much helped raise her) so jerry gets back with his ex(sally) the day after he gets out of the hospital. he had his back fractured and spent 3 days in the hospital. so lastnight jerry calls me at midnight asking if i would take him and sally to the courthouse to get married at 3pm. i met sally and i do like her she is a sweet heart but i think that he moved way too fast. lucky enough for me i had classes until 320pm so i couldnt be there at 3 for their wedding. i should be happy for them but i fear that they got married for the wrong reason. sally claims to be pregnant cause they slept together less than 2 weeks ago and she stopped the pill, and it was her idea to get married. but they day he got out of the hospital he was asking about hookin up with a friend of mine and saying he has a crush on her.
maybe im being a b*tch over the whole thing.... i talked to him lastnight and asked him if he is sure that this is what he wants, marriage is a huge commitment, he says yeah that he loves her a lot.
your thoughts?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Dec. 9, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • when people loose a loved one especially in a tragic situation like this. they all mourn in their own way. some push others away. some try to keep very busy to keep their mind off of it. some stay angry for a long time. IMO he seems to be rushing into this. maybe maybe not if she really is prego then i duno. but it would seem he is trying to avoid the mourning process. just be their for your friend. because it will eventually catch up to him. u can only run from emotions for so long and then when he does start to allow himself to mourn he will need some one to help him thru it. best of luck to you.
    sweetestkitten

    Answer by sweetestkitten at 10:58 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I think he's probably in shock, and shouldn't be making any major life decisions....unfortunately, he's an adult, and can act on those poor choices. Hopefully things work out, but either way, just be there for him.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:52 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • yes in support of my friend I would do it. then I would stay by her side if it fails. That is what I do for my friends.
    ready4baby2011

    Answer by ready4baby2011 at 10:50 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • It doesn't really seem like he's taken the time to really mourn alice. Maybe he sees this as you never know what can happen and he doesn't want to have any regrets??
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:52 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • It seems like he just wants to be with anyone who will love him back. He isn't ready to be married. I hope he realizes he has a rough road ahead. dh and I were together a total of 8 months and engaged only 3 months of that time and went to the courthouse to get married. We did have a rocky start. I hope it isn't the same for him.
    sweetpea1217

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 10:55 PM on Dec. 9, 2010



  • Ask him if she wasn't pregnant would he still be marring her? And what's the rush?
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:59 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • thats what scares me is its gonna catch up to him and its going to be 3 ppl hurt, him, sally, and sally's 3 yr son. like i said earlier i like sally. her and i became friends fast. she doesnt know that jerry and alice were engaged, he told her she was just a friend. i know im a little upset on how he more or less dimisses alice like that. when alice's dad, he is my best friend, got upset about datin again i even told him thats probably how he is dealin with this but dating is a far cry from marriage and long term commitment. under different circumstance i would be happy. sally treats jerry great, she is fun loving carefree all around great person. im so afraid the past is going to sneek up on them and ruin things cause he wasnt honest about everything. i know he still has a thing for my friend cause he acted jealous when i told him about her new bf. im actually more worried about sally than jerry.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:08 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • and i havent told sally anything about alice, she hasnt asked yet so i didnt volunteer any info, i figured its jerry's place to do so
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:13 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • They were obviously involved while he was with Alice. If Sally is pregnant with his child (or even if they just ahd sex 2 weeks ago) and he JUST got out of the hospital with a fractured spine, there was some hanky-panky going on behind Alice's back.

    I say that no one can know another's motives. If this works, wonderful. If it doesn't... well, you'll be there for him for taht too.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:03 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

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