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Do you ever feel like its just you?

I have read a lot of questions on cafemom and right when I think I am the only person going through something, someone else feels my pain. Has anyone ever felt that family is sometimes the last people you want to run to when in need? Why do some family members say hurtful things and try to get under your skin when they have a feeling that you may need them? Did you ever want to disown your family during pregnancy or any other time in your life?

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Queentdi

Asked by Queentdi at 12:50 AM on Jul. 6, 2008 in About CafeMom

Level 4 (55 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Family tends to do that because they know your past better than friends do. Friends know what you let them know, families actually see or hear from others what you've been through, etc.
    I don't know if they do it because they don't want to be bothered with your problems because they have enough of their own, or they think you keep making bad decisions, thus putting yourself in that situation to need help, or they just plain are heartless!
    Just don't get in the habit of using kids to punish relatives, it's not fair to the kids. My sister used to keep my parents from seeing her 3 kids everytime they'd disagree on something and that's so wrong because the kids have nothing to do with the problems between their parents and grandparents.
    Some people only visit their family members when they "need" something so that makes the family members feel used and eventually they will say hurtful things.
    Good luck! Who really knows what's in their minds?
    jon6pat

    Answer by jon6pat at 2:13 AM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • I didn't expect that answer. but thanks.
    Queentdi

    Answer by Queentdi at 3:00 AM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • I actually have disowned my sister and my father. So I understand what you are talking about. I have friends that I depend on very much more so than family. I havent lived near my family in 16 years so that may have something to do with it. The older I get the less patience I have for toxic people in my life.
    AKEllen

    Answer by AKEllen at 3:20 AM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • AKEllen, are you in my head? I went to bible study one night and the pastor was talking about loving ppl from a distance. I love you but I don't want anything to do with you. Since I've been going to church, I have found it easier to avoid and let go of ppl. Sad to say, most of those ppl are family. My mom tries to hurt my feelings often and sometimes she and my granny team up on me. They are the kinds of ppl who can turn a good conversation or visit into a regret that you even tried to talk to them. I have given up on giving ppl chances just to end up getting hurt. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just me.
    Queentdi

    Answer by Queentdi at 5:31 AM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • Yes and no. It wasn't easy to break the pregnancy news ( first one) to my family, ( was 19 only). Mom was thrilled and a bit shamed of me, my sister stood by my side and my mom was actually making sure i got enough nutrients to grow a healthy baby.

    You have to understand your family are upset or too proud to help you.
    yoshiki56

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 5:35 AM on Jul. 6, 2008

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