Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

My husband uses God as an excuse for everything, why?

He hasn't worked in 3 years, and says God wants him to stay home longer. He says God is trying to teach him on how to be a better dad and husband. He always says not to worry that God will always provide, and how come you don't have faith. Ok, i do have Faith for sure. Also Faith with out WORKS is dead, i take that as if you don't get beyond the limits to try and succeed that God will allow things to happen that may not be so lovely. He uses him for everything i think hes a pro at this. Help me please im so at my with ends. He will say things like, everything is gonna be ok, God is near. God wants me to do this, or i have to pray first about i, and on and on. I feel he uses him to much to cover up him being lazy. In 3years of hearing this i have seen NO change in being a better dad nor a spouse. Hes been the same if not far worse in 3 years.

Answer Question
 
cabannon

Asked by cabannon at 3:15 AM on Dec. 10, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • Luke 4:23 says "physician heal thyself" It means take care of your own problems before attemptig to take care of someone elses. Faith in God is a woderful thing. As you said.. "faith without works is dead" He's using the scripture as a crutch. You can have faith in God...but you have to help yourself too.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 3:23 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • well my husband uses the marine corps as an excuse to not try in our relationship

    and he says that what he did out ther and what he was put through
    its hard for him
    but he thinks i a dummy all he did was sit in air condisiond room and
    was on a computor
    so its never what they say
    jmcwilly

    Answer by jmcwilly at 3:28 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • So agree! i have come to my withends with this marriage, and i keep hearing "divorce is not an option"! He tells me it says in the bible the only way that divorce is nesasary is by adultry. Well i have said over and over welcome to this day an age! i do belive it was that way, well but i dont think God wants you to be so unhappy and treated like a child with control. God is love and do believe in Happiness, and tons of love. Which is not in mine, and he says God is still working on us and to give him a chance to work through the kinks. Sometimes i feel so lost, and i know this is not what God inteneded for me, I want more out of my calling in life with the Lord but my husband is sucking the life out of me with his ways.
    cabannon

    Comment by cabannon (original poster) at 3:32 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • no offense, just an honest outsider view, but it sounds alot like a copout excuse. He doesn't know what else to say, so God is the default answer, even if he doesn't want to admit his confusion or despair. Basically he's trying to say "I don't know what else to do and I have no answers for what's happening". Thats what he's trying to say.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Maybe he is depressed because he hasn't found work, or he is lazy. Either way he doesn't want to work and he has nothing to do with God. If you think he is suffering from depressing insist that he seek counselling.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:31 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Have you tried talking to your minister? Maybe without your dh there to interrupt? It isn't my place to judge what God may or may not have said to your dh, but maybe you can sit down with him and explain in a non-confrontational way what your concerns are. The Bible says the husband is the head of the household and the provider. It goes along with the whole thing of sinning in the first place in the Garden of Eden and then getting banished from the Garden. Men were sentenced to a life of labor in the fields and women had to have periods and childbirth. (Though I must say we got the worst end of that stick, especially since women work these days too). Perhaps he isn't listening to God very well. Maybe he just really WANTS to hear God saying stay at home. If I were you I would pray to God and ask specific things on this issue. You can't control dh, but you can ask God to help you with decisions and to help dh. GL
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 5:42 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • I have tried to get him into the doc, but then again he says i dont have such thing and if so God will heal me. My gosh! its so frustrating, i truly believe he is depressed and also has given up and has become very lazy. He also shows slot of anger too, yells and hibernates in the other room by himself cause he cant handle whatever he makes up at the time. Rrrrr!
    cabannon

    Comment by cabannon (original poster) at 5:45 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • If he really cares about ya'll's marriage he'll go talk to a counselor of some sort.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 5:49 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • I agree, you need a non-religious help in this matter. Put the Bible down and go to an actual therapist that can walk thru this with your DH and you and give some possible solutions and ideas to help him thru this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:55 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Everything you have said indicates depression. Time for an intervention. Schedule a "Yearly Physical" and voice these symptoms (The anger, reclusive behavior, depression) to the physician. You guys need medical help, not biblical.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 6:58 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.