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My mil has been asking to go shopping and I offered for her to sit in the front of the car.

She accepted. The next time we went out my hubby said Sit in the back to me. I thought it was rude considering I offered to make her sit in the front the last time.Do you think he was out of line or just not paying attention and very tired trying to keep up with the plans with her? He seems like he does not know who to please first but I am so tired of taking a back seat to respect and i will not go back anymore.What do you think?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:59 AM on Dec. 10, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • I think it is always polite to offer the guest the seat of their choosing. Why should it matter if you or your husband makes the offer?

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 8:55 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • I don't agree. I think when its your car and your family, your DH, you should be allowed to sit beside him and sit in your own car where you wish. There's a time and place to respect your elders, but that doesn't mean they are allowed to walk all over you. Respect goes both way. Respect is earned, not given away simply because of something aesthetic like age or looks or gender.

    When its her car or home, then yes, she's has priority choices.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Seriously? When it was your idea, it was all well and good. When it's your DH's idea, suddenly there is a problem? I think the issue isn't about respecting your MIL at all. Your instinct was right on when it was YOUR idea. What's the real issue you have with your DH?

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 8:18 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • When my MIL was in town we always offered for her to sit up front because she is a kind of a large woman and also has RA (never told her that's the reason). But her response was "No you sit up front, I'm your guest and your showining me around." So the respect was mutual. What would upset me is the way your husband just barked the order at you. To me that seemed kind of rude but I also wouldnt let it get to you too much. Just tell him next time you'd appreciate it if he'd ask you nicely. As for your MIL...hold your breath and count to 10 girl lol I'm sure they were put on this earth to annoy the crap out of us sometimes lol

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 8:26 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • I think the real issue is the way your husband said whatever he said. Plus the fact that she is distracting him while he is driving with her gossip and argueing. Just talk to your husband before the next time you go out. I would certainly agree to have her sit wherever it works best. But I wouldn't expect to be ordered around. And at some point he needs to say, "time to be quiet now, I'm driving here." same as I would say to my kids. (ie. "If you don't stop I'm pulling this car over." "The next one to make a noise is grounded for two weeks." "hey knock if off before we all die!" ) If the woman has never driven herself then she may not have any idea how annoying it is to have somebody jabbering at just the wrong moment. One other thought, does it bother you when she refuses to sit up front when you suggest it? If she is just being difficult then perhpas she should be told where to sit rather than asked.

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 8:37 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Anon, you're off topic. That's irrelevant.

    Your husband may not have said it very nicely, but she IS the elder and she should be offered the front seat. It really is that simple.

    Answer by caseyandkids at 9:03 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • No I am the one that offered and she always says no, but now she is gaining weight and needs the extra room. But the thing is she gossips so much with my hubby and he ends up almost arguing with her because she talks in riddles and half one language and half english. LOL>

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:06 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • In European cultures it always done that way because a lot of elderly women do not drive .

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:17 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • I agree with the two above....respect her. Seriously this REALLY a big deal? It is like when I was a kid and my sister and I would fight over the front seat and my mom would make us take turns or both sit in the back if we were mean to each other. You are going to the same place so is it really that big of a deal to sit in the back?

    Answer by kristinashley24 at 7:27 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Any one else?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:47 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

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