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how to deal with my dh being tired and stressed..its making me depressed.

my dh is tired and stressed from work..it seems like he has been for the past few months. He says we are barely making it and he doesnt have much cash left over after paying the bills. I've been between jobs the past couple of months (back n forth)..so me doing that has hurt us some. usually i am the one buying groceries and my gas..paying for christmas n stuff. He's had to give me gas money several times..buy groceries once..and we havent really bought any christmas yet. I am settled in my job now..and am doing everything i can to help (we are back on track) but he is stressed and just wanting to come home and go straight to bed..not wanting to talk..no love..its frustrating to me and depressing. how can i not let this get to me? I feel like i'm being shut out

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shay1130

Asked by shay1130 at 7:57 AM on Dec. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • therapy and depression meds (if necessary)
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 7:58 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Plan a special meal, maybe, and tell him about it so he knows to expect it. Talk to him when you sit down together and tell him you support him, things will get better, and you want to attack your problems together. Plan a budget and action plan together. Just an idea.......Best wishes.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:03 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • This is how it works...focus on doing the things that make you happy. The best thing you can do to help him is make yourself happy. You know how his Depression works on you to bring you down? Well, happiness works the same way. Being around happiness can help make him happier. In addition to that, I would suggest he see someone like a therapist. Doesn't sound like he has a big problem with it, so, I wouldn't suggest medication yet. That's just my opinion...you should always consult medical professionals regarding medications.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 8:20 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • i told him i want him to see a doctor and he says there is nothing wrong..he is just tired from work...but really...even if he does wake up at 6 ..works 12 hours and doesnt get home until 7pm.. he should still have room for me..or am i wrong? should he be SO EXHAUSTeD every single day that he has no room in his life for me? I mean, i'm lucky if i get any sort of attention on his day off. thats how i feel.
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 8:27 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • My husband has been like this too. What I did was after he went to bed, or took at nap I waited until he was in the peaceful half asleep mode and when in took his shirt off and gave him a nice massage with a happy ending. I know that's TMI, but we was in a GREAT mood for a few days from that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • anon..thats what has me pissed off today. last night he was laying in bed..and i climbed on top of him and was kissing on him and he said "stop i'm tired"..i thought he was kidding. Well i continued..he got mad and came down stairs and made a pallet in the floor and slept!
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 8:33 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Oh no OP! I'm sorry!! All I know if that a guys always feels better with food and sex. I'm sure you've done this, but have you bought him cards or texting him saying how much his working hard means to you and the family? Encouragement such as "Thank you for all you're doing. We are better off than a lot of people out there.I'm glad I have such a good man in my life, etc?" I'm really sorry he shrugged you off. That's all i can think of. Just remind yourself, this too shall pass. Hang in there, things usually get better after the holidays.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

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