Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

I really need advice about my son and is asshole father?

My SO. I hate him with a passion. He's never been their for his son, not when he was born or even after. He brings his new wife around when ever they pick my son up and it just gets to me. I wish I didn't hate him because it's literally eating away at me. What can I do to stop this hateful feeling. I know that I should be only concerned about my son and not worried about his father but I cant help it...he's so disrespectful towards me.

Answer Question

Asked by Jenaiko01 at 10:09 AM on Dec. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,334 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • First of all, why are you still calling him your SO?

    As for the wife situation, you cannot tell him he can't bring his wife with him.. you can say she isn't allowed in your home, but he can bring her wherever he wants.

    Maybe you two should talk like adults and for the sake of the child, be civil.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:11 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Have you thought about writing down all your feelings and thoughts about him in a journal? I think once you get all those feelings out and "voice" them you will be able to heal and move on. I don't know if counseling is an option, but it is a good place to let things out and heal.

    Answer by MizLee at 10:12 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • I try I mean I really try to talk to him like an adult and he wont let me get a word in. His pride is so large. I say I'm sorry all the time to him if he has a problem with me but never does he say anything close to me he ust yells and screams. My son never sees us arguing ever.

    Comment by Jenaiko01 (original poster) at 10:15 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • so talk to his wife and reason with her and tell her what u want for your kid

    Answer by cnoble927 at 10:17 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • I've tried to talk to him like a adult so many times but he never lets me get a word in. He just screams and yells. He'll talk over me all the time. I say sorry if he has a problem with something I've done but he never ever says sorry to me. I'm not a person who likes to be angry cause it deosn't help anything but this deep pitted anger of being cheated on and not helping with our son just gets to me. He's so rude to me.

    Comment by Jenaiko01 (original poster) at 10:18 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • He cheated on me with his wife while we were dating I really dont want to talk to her.

    Comment by Jenaiko01 (original poster) at 10:18 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • There seems to be certain factors here. First of all, he was "hardly every around him" as you said..but now he suddenly is--because he has a new wife/gf? Sounds to me that he is just "playing good Daddy" so make her not see him as a "deadbeat"--this is because men do not want "other women" thinking they are "bad fathers"..cause that's what they will do--and wonder if he will do the SAME thing--to "her." ;)

    Another thing is..are you trully "over" him? My guess is that someone who is completely over their ex, has no problem seeing them with someone else.

    Overall, I don't blame you for feeling hurt, since he got away with too much, but yet--still gets to see him as if he did nothing wrong.

    Answer by psychicRaelene3 at 10:19 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • You still have feelings for him and since you can't express the loving feelings because of you situation, it's easier to convert them into hateful feelings. I see where your coming from and I would feel the same but since he's already married to the nasty slut and there is not chance for you two then your best revenge and relief would be the next time he comes to pick the boy up, even if you don't have a date, be dressed to the nines and when he asks, politely say "oh...I'm going out tonight" and don't elaborate. This will make you feel better and show him that your not pining away for him and then next time, maybe you WILL have an actual date to go on...make that your goal and you'll see that you'll start to feel better.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 4:18 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • first of all stop saying you are sorry to him. When he starts yelling and acting up speak in a calm voice (even if he cannot hear you) and tell him he needs to talk calmly with you and to you. If he doesn't take your son and walk away from him. If possible have someone video tape his rantings. You would be surprised at what kids actually see and hear...its way more than what the parents think. You need to move on and get over him. If you were over him his new wife wouldn't bother you. You know hes a cheat , she knows he is a cheat. She will be spending the rest of her life wondering......about you (if he is with you sexually) and all other women as well. Be happy you don't have that worry. No STD's for you!! Every time he flips out calmly walk away. He will eventually get the idea that you will NOT tolerate him yelling at you G/L

    Don't stoop to his level

    Answer by justgrape723 at 9:20 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.