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Question for the Moms who are grandparents, raising little ones again?

My children are 20, 24, 26 and 27 and I'm 54. My daughter (20) recently had a child however she has always had problems with depression and recently things took a turn for the worse with her attempting to take her own life. Alana (my granddaughter) is now 6 months old and has been taken into care, obviously I want her out as soon as possible and that would have happened if I had been informed immediately. My sons cannot and will not raise another child and I'm not seeing any other options - has anyone done this? My daughter has many mental health problems and I'm not sure I ever want Alana going back to her.

Any advice? I have legal help now also - I forgot to mention.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Dec. 10, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • Hi Grandma,
    My story is nothing like yours....but I am a grandmother and I am a mother still raising a small one...I'm 46...I know it will be hard, but would like to encourage you to open your home and heart to your will be hard, but you won't regret it.....take care and best wishes...

    Answer by Anna92464 at 11:17 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Hell, my mom has helped me raise all three of my kids. We live next door so many days my kids are at her house after school... LOL... She does fine... she even helped me change diapers, feed em... everything. You have a big heart mamaw, you can do this!

    Answer by Gremlyn1980 at 11:42 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • The first thing you really need to do is to consult with an attorney. You don't want to invest a great amount of time raising the child and then have her suddenly turn her life around and want the child back. Also, that is said based on my own mother's experience. She wound up raising both of my brothers' children while their real mom set back and claimed then to get all types of aid, claimed them on taxes, etc... etc... Nothing could be done about it. My parents' never did claim them as deductions on their taxes even though they supported them 100%. That would be the only thing I can tell you from this end. Good luck.

    Answer by m-avi at 11:42 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • u have a huge heart to want to start all over with ur granddaughter. my mother in law is 40 something and just had her second child and still watches our kids on everyother sat so we can work. Its gmas like u that make this world go round!!!

    Answer by honey_bear_2787 at 1:04 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • I have three children and five grandchildren I am 47. My oldest grandson who will be 12 in april has been with me since he was 5. There are alot of grandparents raising children these days. The court gave him to me because my daughter basically abandoned him and the judge told me that I didnt have to do this my response was he is my grandson yes I do .It has been hard he has some issues ADHD, as well as behavioral. I feel most of his issues are due to the fact that niether parent has much if anything at all to do with him. Yet each have other children that they spend time with and this hurts him understandably so. My point however is that the child would probably be happier with you if you are up to it its not easy and at times i regret it but in the end they are family.

    Answer by jlcarlson63 at 1:33 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Make sure that this is what u want to do. I got custody of my grandson when he was 10 months old. He's nine now and has been diagnosed with bi polar disorder , schizophania, seperation anxiety disorder, obsessive defiance disorder and adhd. I am now 49 and have been completely disabled for 3 yrs. Your grandchild is young and wouldnt miss you for very long. I know that sounds horrible to say but you never know especially at our age what the future holds. I f you feel this is something you need to do, I wish you the best. I love my grandson more than anything but I have to wonder if he would have been better off with someone younger and more able to keep up with him. God bless

    Answer by megamamaw at 4:09 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

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