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how do i make my marriage stronger?

Me and my husband have been together for 3 years and married for 3 months. He is not a very feely touchy person and does not like to talk about anything or open up and talk about his feelings. So our relationship is stuck in one place we cant move forward bc we are boring. I have tried to talk to him about it but he just sits there wont say anything. It hurts so bad bc i am his otherr half i am suppose to be there for him and i cant bc i dont know what is going on in that head of his. Please help me before our marriage is over.

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jessicafield190

Asked by jessicafield190 at 11:18 AM on Dec. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (23 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Keep insisting communication, if verbal kind does not work, play a game with letters, some people can put it all out there in writing instead of talking. Keep pressing don't give up, where there is love there is hope.

    older

    Answer by older at 11:21 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Be boring with him....have ordinary days....accept him exactly as he is.....this will make your marriage stronger..
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 11:22 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • May sound stupid but it does work, Find a hobby you two can do together, they will open up when having fun. Don't push.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:23 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Didn't you know this about him BEFORE you decided to get married? If you did, then your stuck like chuck my dear. This is your life.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 11:32 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Don't give up, I understand it is really hard to talk to someone that doesn't like to do that. You can start by talking about something he likes for example I don't know anything about sports but my hubby loves every single one, so when he is watching the news about Football or Soccer I get closed to him and I ask him questions. He starts explaining them and then we have a conversation, I know it is not the kind of conversation you might want to have but it just opens up the window to more conversation. Wish you the best, I know it is really hard but like the first poster said where there is love there is hope.
    bratgirln1

    Answer by bratgirln1 at 11:36 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • My SO is like that. I just tell him what I need from him. He won't verbally respond but he will show me that he listened when he follows through with what I have asked of him. He'll never tell me what he needs from me. I'm supposed to figure it all out. I hate that part but these guys never change. It took me years to figure most of it out. Accepting him as is plays a strong role in the relationship. If things get boring for me I tell him to just fix it. He's a control freak so I tell him if he wants to control then that means he's responsible for fixing things when they get off track. Again, he won't verbally respond but he fixes it. Sometimes he gets it wrong but he does try and it still turns out interesting! lol
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:43 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • i wish i could help but im in the same situiation. :( Its an awful feeling i feel so alone and keep after him. try counsling???
    honey_bear_2787

    Answer by honey_bear_2787 at 11:50 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Thanks guys so much but i can get him to talk to me about everything but how he feels. I am a very open and emotional person and it kiills me when i cant get my own husband to talk to me about the way he feels. I try asking him how he feels about me and he says everytime he loves me. lol... So nothing works! So you all think if i keep talking to him about what he likes that soon hell feel comfortable enough to talk to me about his feelings?
    jessicafield190

    Comment by jessicafield190 (original poster) at 12:03 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Just based on what you have shared.

    He sounds like he does not know how to communicate with you affectively. That's most likely why he just sits there and says nothing. He's probably aware enough to know that if he does try to communicate with you about this, whatever he says most likely is not going to come out "right" and potentially make the situation worse.

    Learning how to communicate with one another more affectively could be a HUGE help for both of you in this situation. Both of you learning how to communicate with the other more affectively and in a manner in which the other really understands/comprehends what being shared would help move your marriage forward.

    There are many books out there that can help a couple learn how to communicate with one another . This is a good route for couples to take if they aren't up for (or can't afford) counselling..

    Cont.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:01 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Even if you are the only one who reads these books, it's okay. You can read up on communication and you can start changing how you communicate with him. And help guide him in learning how to communicate with you.

    When my husband and I had to learn to communicate years ago, that is one of the steps I took. I read books about communication, and undestanding one another's communication. When I communicated with my husband, I started incorporating things I learned, and slowly (it wasn't quick by any means.. lol) he started utilizing those things as well. Eventually we both learned how to communicate so much better with one another. That made a HUGE difference in our marriage.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:03 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

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