Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do I do next & how do I decide over which one?

A few months ago i started cheating on my husband w/ a guy I dated in high school. I've been married for three years. I started talking to this guy about a year ago and we just hit it off, like it was better than old times. He is everything I've been missing from my marriage. I have tried to tell my husband I need time to think and to be alone, and he thinks I'm joking. I don't know who is right for me. I don't feel that spark w/ my husband anymore & every happy memory we were suppose to have together we spent fighting. What do I do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:35 AM on Nov. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • What marriage is, is a commitment. I think most people these days get divorced because they think love is the warm fuzzy feeling when you first get together. The warm fuzzies are just chemistry. No matter what, the warm fuzzies wear off and your left with just your partner.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Cont.


    I know I really didn't answer your question, but I think you do need time to think and make a decision if your going to hold up your end of the commitment or let it go. Just the next time you get married, do it because you can commit to being a partner to that person.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 AM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • old times are old times. Don't screw this up by trying to relive your past. The grass is rarely greener on the other side.
    rcbrown

    Answer by rcbrown at 2:11 AM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • my hubbs and i have been married for 5 years, i cheated on him when i finally could not take his abuse anymore. It did nothing for me, i ended up feeling as sick of the new guy as well. Really, it isn't worth ruining something good over, like the above said, marriage is a commitment, whether or not that spark is there.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 2:37 AM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • marriage isnt easy...cheatn isnt the answr eithr it just makes it worse kuz eventually ur husbnd will find out...trust me
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 AM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • i'm in the same boat as you...i've live with my SO for over 3 yrs. I have a new man... i cannot tell you who i want more. I keep looking at the entire picture and nothing is working out.. the only thing i know is that i am hurting both men in some way by being a cheater. the SO doesn't know about the BF at all. and the BF thinks i just live with a man who no longer wants a relationship with me because i am not the kind of person he would want to marry. i cannot offer any advice other than maybe you need something beyond a manstop thinking you have to choose one of them.- CHOOSE YOURSELF. stop thinking u need someone. put yourself first and that may be the greener pasture you've been seeking. easier said than done but think about it
    alwms

    Answer by alwms at 7:06 AM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Alot of us women feel for you! I also am in a relationship not married-but I love another man,but I hate the thought of hurting the man I live with.I have been thinking of moving out,then I will be able to see the picture more clear.You don't and shouldn't live in guilt,be yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:51 AM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • This past weekend i went in saw the guy from high school w/o my husband of course, and it was the most amazing weekend I have ever had. Ever since I've been w/ my husband I've wanted that other guy back, I actually searched for him for years. And every time I leave him its like something inside of my heart just breaks, I really want him. I just don't know how to let my husband down gently and I don't want him to know. I melt in this guys arms from high school and I feel something very special that I"ve never experienced w/ any other guy. Am I crazy

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.