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I have a 4th year old that will not participate in anything if my husband or myself are there to watch her. She just wants to hang on us and if she cant hang on us she cries and hangs on her teachers what can I do to get her to stop this behavor and to get her to participate?

My husband and I are 40 somethings and she is an only child and in daycare 2 days a week

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Asked by cinnamontime at 1:02 PM on Dec. 10, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Play with her?

    Answer by CraftingMama at 1:03 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • BUMP

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 1:03 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • I agree set up a time just for you and her so that she has your 100% attention. Sounds like she just needs a little more attention!!

    Answer by 2prettylittle1s at 1:05 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Not sure. I have a friend whos 10 year old is so attached to her parents she will even throw such a crying fit for her mom at school her Mom will go pick her up. Won't go to friends house to play. Attention is NOT the problem there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • You leave.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 1:20 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Actually she sounds fairly normal. It's a phase many kids go through and most outgrow in their own time. Reassure her and encourage her to go back to her friends. It's going to come with maturity and confidence.

    It's not a lack of attention. Some kids just deal with attachment issues. When my DD was 3 she was like this. I was home most of the week and when i wasn't, she was being doted on by her grandparents. Attention was NOT the issue. Even now at 6, she'll sometimes come over and want to cuddle into me at a Scout meeting or something - especially if some the other girls in my troop are giving me hugs. It's a jealousy thing for her there and I just reassure her that at the end of the meeting, she comes home with me for all the cuddles she wants. She gets a hug and a kiss at the meeting. She gets lots of hugs at home. As she gets older, she gets better.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 1:21 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • My daughter is the same way at 3 1/2. We find that with she and her older brother (now 5) they really do best in activities where they can't even see us. For example my son clings to us in the pool when we go swimming as a family, yet swims completely independently during lessons with another adult. Maybe try a program that has windows through which you can watch from a distance??

    Answer by jennyd76 at 2:34 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • My son did this. It will stop as she matures. He needed time to foster a bit more independence. This is why we held him back a year from kindergarden. He turned 5 in late August, he will be almost 6 when the next year starts and one of the older kids in class. We think this time we "bought" him has made a huge difference.

    Answer by salexander at 12:35 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

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