Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

when your kids are arguing, do you step in and fight their battles or stay out of it?

my 2 and 4 year old fight atleast once a day. generally they're good with eachother, but someone always takes a toy from the other, or the 4 year old is tired of being shadowed by the 2 year old, and the 2 year old gets her feelings hurt (they're both girls) and i feel like i drive myself crazy constantly trying to intervene in their tifts. if i dont, they'll start yelling at eachother and then i can't stand the shouting so i break it up. am i wrong to always intervene, should i let them work it out by themselves? sometimes they do, but i can probably count on one hand how many times that's happened...

i have another daughter who's turning 1 in january, im so not looking forward to all 3 of them fighting with eachother!


Asked by tnm786 at 4:31 PM on Dec. 10, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • My kids are about the same age as yours and I used to step in because normally it was my oldest being a bully to my youngest. But now i'm starting to notice they are both at fault most of the time! I get so tired of breaking them up 1000x times a day that usually I will just leave them be and let them work it out unless it's just way out of hand.

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 4:35 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Mine are 10, 9, 8 and 4 and unless there is blood or they are annoying the crap out of me I stay out of it. They need to learn to work out their own problems. And it's been that way since they were toddlers. If the fighting goes on for too long it usually violates one of the above mentioned things. As toddlers it usually came to annoying me and then I'd take away whatever they were fighting over. Now they not only lose anything they are fighting over but get grounded to their rooms (and my 3 girls share a room). At least they can't annoy me from their rooms.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 4:47 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • They are 7 and 5 (boy and girl). I usually let them work it out on their own, unless it's getting out of hand...which rarely happens. They are very good friends!

    Answer by motherofpearls at 4:52 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • if it is a genuine squabble over a toy, I let them work it out. If someone is being physical or using unkind words I step in.
    I remind them that if they're in a timeout for using their hands in a mean way or using mean words their brother/sister will have the toy while they sit on time out.

    A few times I've removed the toy (or threatened to)

    Answer by hibbingmom at 4:33 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • The joys of an only child! lol My brother and I fought all the time as a kid. My mom kept asking me why we fought all the time. She thought since we were 20 months apart we would just automatically get along.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 6:29 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • I only have 1 right now and my plan is to have them about 5 years apart. . . so hopefully i can at least rationalize with one :)

    I think I would let them work it out unless it got physical then I would just remove the toy and have both go to a time out until they appologized

    Answer by Huntersmom209 at 12:06 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I have actually thought a lot about this b/c i am an only child and never had to deal with it. . but I wanted to think about what I would do before I had two

    Answer by Huntersmom209 at 12:07 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • @huntersmom i was an only child too, so i think thats why i have no idea how to go about this. lol

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 2:38 PM on Dec. 11, 2010