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3 Bumps

how can i get my kids to play togather and share things espeailly when there is no school (on weekeends)?

my kids always fighting about everything and every day. even in the car on the to anywhere they fight just cuz her brother is looking at her she gets mad and if his sister puts her head or hand on the side of his careseat he gets mad. they drive me crazy about everything and everywhere. they even fight about playing with the baby sister. some times i have to spreat them so i can have some quiet times in the house. most of the time i send my 6 year old girl to her grandmas house and by that my 5 year old son dosent really like to do anything when she is not home so i get it quiet at home. even if we go for a trip i put her in my moms house cuz it is fun better then taking her with me and yeall at her. so is this right to have them spreated some times? i dont know what to do.......

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nadin8

Asked by nadin8 at 6:39 PM on Dec. 10, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 6 (134 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Sometimes intervening in thier conflict only makes the situation worse cause they don't ever have an opportunity to develop the skills to work through those conflicts.

    I would ignore any conflict that wasn't a physical threat. You might have a few days with a lot of crying but it sounds like you've got a lot of that anyway.

    What do you think would happen if you let them solve thier own problems?
    UpSheRises

    Answer by UpSheRises at 6:42 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • I have to agree with USR.

    My brother and I fought ALL THE TIME when we were kids. He used to push my buttons. I used to pick on him. That old gold corduroy love seat in the family room knew little of love but an awful lot about our little tussles and tiffs. My mother ONLY intervened if we were going to damage something or someone. Otherwise, it was up to us to work it out. And we always did.

    Eventually we got to the point where each of us always had the other's back. Picking on one of us meant dealing with the other. And as adults, we've always been there to help each other out. AND we both know how to deal with conflicts.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:36 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • My children fought, then fought, then fought some more. When I just couldn't stand it any more, I would make them mad at me (i.e. go clean your closets out, rake leaves, shovel snow, clean under your beds, wash windows, etc. etc.). They would come together as a unit to talk about their evil mother & how unfair I was. It worked up until my oldest left for college. It may not be what the child psychiatrist tell you to do, but the peace & productivity always helped me re-group for their next battle. Good Luck to you!
    MomIWant

    Answer by MomIWant at 8:58 PM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • If they are doing things that are productive with their time they can't fight. Or better yet if their are playing skillful games they will be able to compete with each other by actually using their smarts to win at the game. Or take them to the local park where they can play and interact with other children there which will give them time to do other things like the swings, monkey bars, basketball hoops or whatever the park has to offer that would be fun and distract them from the reasons they are fighting in the first place.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 3:00 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Mine are 3 and 6 and the only time they aren't fighting is when they are playing with playdough and when they are having 'room time' Room time is everyone's break. Every body for 45 min-1 hour plays in there own room with the door shut.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:03 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • We also alternate baths so one is in the tub while the other has the house and sometimes we alternate being outside and inside.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:04 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • mine are 6 and 7 if they dont share then tell them if they dont share ill take the toy and nobody can play with it
    mommalovesfour

    Answer by mommalovesfour at 4:35 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • kids need their own space... but i don't think packing one off to gmas all the time is a great solution. she's old enough to know whats going on, and honestly i'd be upset if every time my brother got upset i got shoved off on someone else... sounds like the kids need to be sent to their rooms and be done with it.
    asil

    Answer by asil at 7:43 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I think the separation and individual attention should help.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 12:51 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • They're suppose to fight. It's how they learn to negotiate their way in life. It's annoying, but necessary.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 7:17 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

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