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6 Bumps

How do I explain to my autistic 11 year old's classmates that he is not "crazy"?

My oldest son has autisum, ADHD, and OCD. He has been the target of bulling from other kids his entire school career, but here lately it has gotten EXTREMELLY bad. The school has agreed to let me speak to his entire grade in hopes of them understanding him better. And suggestions as to web sites I can go to for information they could understand? They are 5th graders so I'm afraid to go in there with info so big that they cant wrap their brains around it.

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Asked by tlcowley at 1:38 AM on Dec. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • There are some really good books out there for this specific purpose. Unfortunately I don't know any titles, but I bet you could find them on an autism awareness group website, or at Barnes and Noble.

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 1:45 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Have you thought about other options like especial education, home schooling or school online for him?. This might sound pessimist but I don't believe they care if your son is sick for most bullies are only looking for an easy target and the rest just keep their heads down quietly to avoid been next. I know this because when I was 10 I had a friend who had special needs due to polio she was from venezuela and It got really bad until I got into a fight with the bully one day her mom talk to the class about what she had and this girl afterward said so now your mommy is going to come to rescue you!! are you going to cry to your momma? I had enough so I punch her and use one my friend crutches to beat her up also give her a black eye I got suspended and almost got kicked out of the school if it wasn't because I had good grades and my friend spoke in my favor but that was the only thing that stopped the bulling.

    Answer by gou18 at 2:00 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Maybe you could get some advice from a specialist on how to approach this with young children. I would probably look into it. They may have some tools that the children that age can grasp better. Sorry you are going through such tough times. Kids can be cruel, but that doesn't make it okay. I wish you loads of luck with this.

    Answer by jdrae13 at 2:00 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I don't really have any resources out the ordinary online and library recommendations but I bumped you and want to commend you for making a valiant effort on your sons behalf to deal with this so hopefully he doesn't suffer anymore needless bullying. I have a 4th grader who is actually very sensitive towards others with special needs because that is what we teach and require of our kids. Kids these days are so self absorbed and downright mean. Let those kids know that IT IS BULLYING and that you and the school will NOT tolerate it! He has no more control over his Dx's than Johnny has control over his brown eyes, Debbie has control over her freckles or Susie has control over her red hair. Send the message LOUD AND CLEAR and that YOU personally will talk to their parents if it continues. GL and you go, mama!

    Answer by Babylove76 at 2:03 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Now if you really want to try this sites I hope this can help your son good luck to you

    Answer by gou18 at 2:07 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Maybe open it up by asking them questions about differences with each other. Then going into what differences they may see within your DS. Open it up for questions. Kids like to know "why" so let them ask why. Encourage them on new ways to communicate with your DS and ways to relate to him that they may not have thought of before. Try to relay that he's there to teach them as well as them teaching him and he needs their support and encouragement. Good look mama, I'm sure you'll do great. I hope the bulling stops soon.

    Answer by jillrebecca3 at 2:09 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Also depending on the state you live there are new anti-bullying laws and you might want to take a look at those and make aware to the teachers and principal about it and also maybe the parents of the classmates.

    Answer by gou18 at 2:13 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • DS had a child with autism in his 5th grade class. Before he joined the class, his Mom came and talked to the class about his behaviors, and needs. She told the class how he has a hard time with loud noises, and things like that. She gave them suggestions on how they can be helpful to him. He became everyone's favorite classmate. When kids from other classes bullied him, the DS's entire class would jump in to stop it. Not that I am proud of this behavior at all.. but DS got suspended for two days along with three other boys for fighting some kids that tried to pick on their autistic classmate. DS said he just go SO mad, he had to do something.He reminded me hat I told him he should never sit back and let someone call him the n word, to speak up, and that he felt in that moment when they were calling the kid stupid and retard, it was the same as calling a black kid the n word.

    Answer by 3gifts.from.god at 2:33 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • There are websites for stuff like this and u.fortunately some disorders are hard to hide like ocd autism adhd and seizures going through school I got picked on bullied and tormented it got to the point I would hide my seizures which really posed a danger to myself even in high school I hid it until one day at school I almost got seriously hurt when I went back to school they had a parent teacher conference then I had to come clean as far as they knew I only had a learning disability well the seizure thing got put in there so the office staff knew and the way to go about handling things was also put in my file the teachers weren't mad at me just upset I didn't say anything to them about the problem

    Answer by lonemom1987 at 3:54 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Running and hiding is not an option sorry mom with the friend from venezuela but disabilities with the brain got to be handled a different way running doesn't accomplish anything running and hiding will send a bad message not every bully is the same bullying happens due to fear and lack of knowledge about somethings remove the fear and give them knowledge and things should be hopefully better and the fear gets replaced with compassion and understanding

    Answer by lonemom1987 at 4:07 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

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