We are expecting twins soon and my hubby will be deploying 10 days after they arrive. We live 12 hours away from family and have already made arrangements for my mother to come and stay for a month or a little more once this happens to help me get situated and recovered from the c section. Once my MIL found out about this plan she said "Okay well when your mother leaves then I will come and stay for a month as well." My mouth about dropped to the floor and I wanted to say HELL NO right off the bat but I just kind of bit my tongue and said "We will see how things go, we have some time to plan." I am not trying to be rude here but this woman is the most negative person I have ever come across in my entire life. My husband does not even talk to his mother anymore and I have become the peace keeper between the two of them over the past couple of years. She has never been supportive of anything that we, or any of her children, have done and even strongly recommended abortion when she found out we were expecting twins instead of one baby. I was furious. She invited herself here in October and even bought her plan tickets before consulting us about it. It was the LONGEST week of our lives. She complained about everything down to our house (which was spotless when she arrived), the shows my husband and I watch on TV when the kids are in bed, the way that we raised our kids (like she thought it was insane that I was letting my 19 month old drink from a cup with a straw and not a sippy cup). It was just awful and my husband told her she needs to relax and stop nitpicking everything and enjoy her visit. This turned into a huge screaming fit on her part and she ignored us IN OUR OWN HOME for 3 days straight. Literally she would not answer us if we tried talking to her. I just cannot have her here after the babies come, especially for THAT long. It is going to be a very happy, yet very exhausting time for me and I want to enjoy every minute of it without feeling as if i'm walking on egg shells in my own house. I know eventually she will probably want to see the twins and that is fine but this month long stay is out of the question in my book I just don't know how to tell her this without it causing an uproar. I asked my husband what I should say and his response was "Just tell her you don't fu*cking want her here, or i'll tell her".. now of course i'm not going to do that!!! Any advice or ideas?? If you made it all the way through my ramblings, I apologize for it being so long and thank you for listening!! By the way.. posting Anon is not something I often do but i'm afraid she will stumble upon this post because she tends to stalk my every move sometimes.
Asked by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Dec. 11, 2010 in Relationships
Answer by sexyfancyface at 4:51 AM on Dec. 12, 2010
Answer by cara124 at 8:36 AM on Dec. 11, 2010
Maybe I'm a wuss, but if it's your husband's mother, then HE needs to be the one to tell her. I have major issues with my MIL and she will look for any reason to make me the bad guy (you know, so she doesn't have to face up to the fact that SHE is the one who has ruined her relationship with her son...it's much easier to blame it on me). I would insist that he talk to her and let her know that it's not a good idea for her to come stay for a month.
Answer by vicesix at 8:38 AM on Dec. 11, 2010
Answer by CarriePM at 8:36 AM on Dec. 11, 2010
Answer by Noosa at 9:54 AM on Dec. 11, 2010
Answer by admckenzie at 10:09 AM on Dec. 11, 2010
Answer by Babylove76 at 10:20 AM on Dec. 11, 2010
Answer by aeneva at 8:38 AM on Dec. 11, 2010
You are going to have far too much responsibility in caring for 2 babies, you don't need the added weight of a house guest on top of all of that. I think your DH needs to deal with this one. If he doesn't mind playing bad cop, let him. It's HIS mother, after all. You are blessed that you married a real man who isn't afraid of dealing with the conflict! Just a look around CM and you realize how many men won't deal with their own mothers. Good luck, and CONGRATULATIONS on your double bundles!!!
Answer by JawgaMom1 at 10:35 AM on Dec. 11, 2010
Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:37 AM on Dec. 11, 2010