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2 Bumps


OK been 18 years with her and dealing with mother and daughter you guys think I never try to workout with her? Let me tell you guys whole story when she was little when ever we go to pick her up she make sure I sit in the back seat. Which I always disagree with her and my husband, but my DH always make me seat back because she is my daughter and she got start crying, So it been happened all my married life till my own kids born. All those year she stay my home some time 3 months 2 months or some time all summer vacation. I always try to make this relationship workout but they never try to do that because my DH always take her side and she know how to play with her dad emotions and she know his weak point. I cook for her special food I spend my own money, I always buy lots of toys on her birthdays even her father do not have money. when my husband get upset on her I am the one who take her side. I treat her as a child. but what I get always shit from them even when I got married I cook for her mother. Her Favorite dishes and invite her to have a dinner with us why because I want every one be happy. Guess what they took advantage from me and they play games with me when ever I need spend some time with my husband they call and bring issues, so he went to them or help them. when ever they together they treat me like I am not there and she act like I am the one coming b/w her mom and dad. she always give me attitude she never listen to me she do things in my home what ever she wants. she never follow the rules. she never try to help me. MY sweet HB always told me she is a baby, whats wrong if you do things for her, pick her plates and mess or fix her bed after she woke up, and i did till she was little girl . Her mother home she follow her mother rules. Sometime she took my stuff without asking me because she ask daddy and daddy never say no to her or never tell her to ask me this is not mine this is your SM stuff. even one time my mom gave me a gift my husband give her that. when i see after a while she have that. I ask where you got this she said daddy give to me, when i ask my DH he said its OK, she wants that so what? and other hand she never listen her dad either If he like something for her she always say i don;t like that when he offer to eat something she don't want that. she called me all kinds of names as she can. we payed child support till she get 18 and we spend more money when ever she ask or need even when we don't have enough money to pay my own bills. Thing got heart me more when my kids born and she don't like them and when she is around the daddy she do not want him to pay attention on them. She go out with daddy alone, do thing separately . what ales you guys want me to tell you . when she misbehave with me and disrespect me I don't want my kids learn from her. Now after having a boy friend and his baby you thing she is a good example for my kids . What should I told my kids its OK! to have kids without married. No I don't allow my kids to make that kind of act. She always find way to make her father feel guilty. I think now is time. she need to meet or see her father outside and make arrangement to stay a motel or hotel when she want to stay longer. I never stop my husband to see her and meet her outside. Even though when she is living in the town my husband spend time with her all the time and me and my kids stay home. they go out having a fun having a dinner with ex-wife without telling me. Would you please tell me anyone in this group have a guts to except that . That all i have to say now is your turn to give me positive advise.

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Asked by Sonia255 at 10:37 AM on Dec. 11, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Sounds like they're not treating you the respect that you deserve, but it seems like it been happening for a long time now. Not sure how you go about changing it at this point. Seems like maybe you should just focus on your kids since you kinda know what to expect from your husband and step daughter, good luck !!

    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:53 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • It sounds like a huge lack of respect on your husband and stepdaughters part. It's time to concentrate on YOUR kids and let the ADULT daughter deal with life on her own. She isn't your responsibility. If your husband wants to see her, that is his choice and he can do it without you. Stop doing anything for her because it sounds like she in an ungrateful little brat. As for your husband going out to dinner with his ex and not telling you, I would have a talk with him about that. He needs to have enough love and respect for you to tell you what he is doing.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:58 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • This is the first post I have read. You deserve so much more than this. I don't see how you stood to be treated like this for so many years. If you are going to stay with your husband I would try to focus on your children and let his daughter be his responsibility. But I would tell him I wanted to be treated with respect by him, at the very least, and that you have been disrespected too long. I wish you all the best.

    Answer by elizabr at 12:16 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • wow i would have walk out long time ago and to have more kids with this so call man ,i would not have put up with this shit from any of them my foot would be kicking some ass in i would start with the kid and work up with hubby then the ex,at least you where good maid
    and did well as door mate ,your kids really don't think much of their drama queen sister tell you the truth if she was my sister i would kicked her ass in so hard she be bouncing off the walls,but all you can do it would be great to be married before you have child but some times people think before they make that choice knowing your sister she was not thinking at the time,and one who will get hurt in all this is unborn baby ,next time your hubby goes see his daughter please take the other kids out just because daddy can not stand up to his kid and tell what he thinks he less of really man and to have dinner with ex and kid is called cheating so kick his ass out

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 12:17 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I would tell you DH to go back to his old family since he sees them more than he does you all.....thats my true deep opinion!!!!! so to offend anyone.... daddy and daughter sound pathetic!!!! TOUGH LOVE PEOPLE HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO SAY THIS>....get that girl out of your home take your things back that are yours take them away from her. Call the cops on her for stealing put her ass in jail for 2 nights and she will straighten up!!!!!

    -Lace married 23 year old SAHM.-

    Answer by lacyjay1987 at 10:28 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Sounds like several types of abuse are going on here. Your DH needs help, you've tried and tried. You can't change him, only yourself. This needs to be done to help yourself, and your children.

    Answer by foxyldy at 6:57 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Walk away and don't look back....Wow, you've taken this abuse for years and I know you've reached your breaking point by now...just walk away and don't look back...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:00 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • wow! Well, if I understood all of that correctly, her Dad has SPOILED her rotten & have taken far too much advantage of you. BUT, YOU have allowed it after all of these years! I know you want to keep peace, but sometimes you can be too nice & that is when you get shafted. Your children will eventually know about the baby, if they don't already so I am a bit confused on why her & the baby ONLY can't stay over the house?? I think since this has gone so far for SOO many years that you may have to deal with this, too. Your post is a bit confusing

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 3:38 AM on Dec. 26, 2010

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