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What do u guys think, should i be mad?

So i have two kids and my sis has two herself. My mom rearly spends time with them she's either going out or to busy with her boyfriend. EVerytime i ask her to babysit so i can work she can't bc she's too busy.. I don't know but i think she should make an effort to spend time with her grandkids. WHat do you think?

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phoenixjuelz

Asked by phoenixjuelz at 11:22 AM on Dec. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (140 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Well weather or not I think you should be mad doesn't really matter. ARe you mad? MY mil is like this she spends all her time with her daughter and ignores my kids. It happens. So the thing is how do you deal with it? By being thankful that your parent thinks your life is going well enough to not need help.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 11:24 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I don't blame her for not wanting to babysit your kids... mabey they're too much for her... but she should at least come over to see them sometimes.
    Gremlyn1980

    Answer by Gremlyn1980 at 11:25 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I think it is up to her when and if she wants to spend time with your kids. Why can't she have a life of her own? Why is babysitting her responsability? She raised her kids. Nowhere in the grandparent handbook does it say that it is up to the grandparents to babysit so you as a parent can work. Why doesn't your SO or baby daddy take care of the kids while you work??? Grow up and take care of your own family. As for being mad... why don't you decide that for yourself?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I think when Moms get a certian age, and they've spent their entire young lives raising their own kids, giving them every moment of their time, that when those kids are adults they feel a sense of relief and a natural desire to live their own lives and not be strapped down to tending to little ones anymore, they've already done that with you, they just want to live their lives, it doesn't mean they don't love their grandkids, they just want you to be the Mom, they don't wanna be put back into that position again. They deserve a life, don't you think?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Some g-mas seem to fill that role the way we think they should. When they dont, or have their own busy lives, we tend to feel they arent fulfilling their grandparent duties. Maybe she just doesnt want to be the babysitting g-ma. Maybe she'd prefer visits or dinner dates w/ her family instead. Im sure there is enough time & love for one another to work out a solution/compromise to this.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 11:29 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I do love to babysit for my grandkids but I think Grammas need to feel that they are appreciated and invited to their kids' homes and not just to babysit. If the only reason is to babysit,then you are USING Gramma.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 11:31 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I understand that she deserves a life and for all means i want her to be happy. And yes it's not her responsibilty to take care of my kids. I know that. It would be nice to have some help, as a single mother of two, it wouldn't hurt to have some help from my mother from time to time. I dont ask her to do all the time, and i was just simply wondering and ask a question not to get beaten down on with neagtivity. And it would be something if i was asking her to babysit so i can party and have fun. I know i can decide for myself i just though it would be nice to her what u guys thought. And she can't babysit and she doesn't some over and spends time with them with me there. Well it is what it is!
    phoenixjuelz

    Comment by phoenixjuelz (original poster) at 11:34 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Yeah, I have invited her to come over and spend time and again she is busy. I dont know when i'm a grandma i would love to see my grandkids and if i could help my kids i would. Now if it gets to the point where i'm used then thats a different thing. But i would never use her.
    phoenixjuelz

    Comment by phoenixjuelz (original poster) at 11:36 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • We grandmothers have a life too. Don't expect us to be the automatic babysitter. If you want her to respect your life then you should respect her's. My mother never babysat and I wont babysit. We love our grandkids but it doesn't mean we have to watch them and give up other things we want to do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I'm sorry this is the way it is with her. It would be great if there was some middle ground where she helped a little and visited. I understand where you are coming from. Maybe it will change over time. Try not to be mad. Speaking from experience, anger can eat away at you and make you miserable. Do what you can to have a decent realtionship with her to keep the door open. hug
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 11:56 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

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