Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

6 Bumps

There is no point adult content

I'm never going to be good enough for my husband. He just threw in my face blaming me for everything that has gone wrong in my life and our marriage. We were about to divorce when he begged for one more chance. The entire time I kept saying it was OUR fault the marriage went the way it did but he kept saying was he's fault and no matter what I said he kept taking the blame. Now he sayings that I blamed him all the time and I cant take ownership. Pretty much called me a bad mother. Said if I was like his mom more it would be this way. Saying it was my fault I was beat and raped, it was my fault my family was the way they were growing up.
Everything was my fault... I don't see the point in trying anymore... I have no one no family no friends. He has made me look like the bad guy for so long when really I've been trying to make things work. Maybe he's right maybe everything is my fault and I don't deserve to be a mother. I guess when he gets home from his business trip I'll just leave and disappear off the face of the earth. Make him happy and my kids will be better off.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Dec. 11, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • do YOU think you are a bad person, a bad mom, a bad partner,
    or, are you just repeating what he has said to you for years?

    he sounds like he is verbally abusive, do yourself and your kids a favor=call an abuse center and talk to a counselor
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:47 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Sorry to hear he's convinced you of all that hogwash. You know it's not true. He's manipulating you in to thinking things that are convenient for him so he doesn't have to carry any blame. He's a jerk. It's not all your fault and when you are not feeling so down you will remember that you know it. Don't do anything rash. Take a break from carrying all this guilt. It sounds like breaking away from him will help you be healthy again. I left a guy like that and felt so much better but I didn't leave my kids.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:48 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • You need to get some counseling for you & your children ASAP. It sounds like this abusive neanderthol (sp?) has whittled away at your self esteem & has you believing his lies. You are worthy of better treatment. You are a worthwhile human being & your children need you! You need to get as far away from him as soon as you can. In time with proper support & counseling, you and your children will be better off. Just turn the tables & picture your children coming to you w/ the same problem. Would you tell them to give up, curl up in a fetal position & forget life & their children, or would you remind them they are loved, they are worthy of love & a happy life? I wish you the best of luck & the strength to move forward toward a better life.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 12:04 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Hun, take the kids and RUN! Then, get some counseling.
    BUTTERCUP777

    Answer by BUTTERCUP777 at 12:05 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • SRRY TO HEAR HOW HE THINKS UR ALL THESE HARSH THINGS ! I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 7YEARS THAT WAS SIMILAR TO YOURS ! HE WAS VERY VERBALLY ABUSIVE ! AND I FINALLY GOT ENOUGH AND LEFT AND I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER THAT I DID ! MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE THE KIDS AND GO AWAY TO CLEAR YOUR MIND FROM HIM ! YOU DONT HAVE TO SETTLE FOR LESS THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEBODY OUT THERE WISHING FOR A BETTER MATE ! AND YOUR THAT PERSON ! TRY CALLING AN ABUSE CENTER AND TALK TO THEM !
    mrzshanteb23

    Answer by mrzshanteb23 at 11:58 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Wow Okay Mamma first he wants it to be your fault people like this our trying to make you feel bad my x does now you have to realize he wants you down and beating yourself up he wants to use his position I would take a step back and realize your own value how you make your family work do not let him push you down and keep it that way. Take a step back and a second to realize you are a good mother and a good human being also start talking to someone about what is happening this sounds like verbal abuse do not take it and also decide if this is the place for you and your kids and while you figuring this out take some time to see if this is for you sometimes the relationship is just that over and if not counseling is truly in order.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:59 AM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • My Dh has a hard time taking ownership in anything wrong in our marriage. It disappointments that he can't take responsibilty for any of it. We do have a good marriage but we have bumps in the road like everyone else, so its nothing major but still.

    I know what its like to be blamed for everything that has gone wrong and honestly it really pisses me off.
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 1:33 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • yes mama your not a bad person & if you believe that it on you but if you feel that you have to get out then go right ahead mama do what is best for you & your kids you say he is on a buisness trip hopefully you have plenty of time but i hope your ok mama & i hope everything works out for the best
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 4:05 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • You're not a bad person. Go through with the divorce so he can go play the way he wants to. You provide for your children the best you can and get him to pay you child support for them.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 6:18 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • o.k sweetie time to stop feeling sorry for yourself! that is what you sound like, you want someone to lick your wounds? that is your past you need to get past that so you can be a better you, a better mom. he calls you a bad mom?WHY? if you know in your heart you're a good mom don't let that bother you, sounds like he's speaking from anger. in any marriage, freindship, any kind of relationship each person holds fault in problems the relationship. what makes you think the answer to your problem is walking away? giving in to his defeat? we all have a past some harsh then others but we got to get past it. that is for you, and your children, and so if he deserves you, but don't give into that cause he said so it must be true, drop off the face of the earth. do you think that will help? maybe he will missd you, need/want you back? sounds like he's being mean because he knoews he can hurt you with words
    mememommie

    Answer by mememommie at 12:45 PM on Dec. 11, 2010