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Is it bad of me not to buy my brother's GF a birthday present?

She's really sweet and we get along great. She sent me a candle for my birthday. She turns 21 the week before Christmas and her parents are throwing her a cocktail party which my brother and mom are invited to. I'll see her at Christmas and maybe give her a box of chocolates or something. I'm terrible at picking presents for people, and I would feel much more obligated if I was going to her party, which I'm totally ok with not going to (I wouldn't expect her parents to invite her boyfriend's adult sister, you know).


Asked by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Dec. 11, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (16)
  • I don't think you need to get her something but if you do, you don't need to spend a ton. Get her some yummy smelling lotion or a framed picture of her and your brother together. Get the frame at a discount store and get their picture from facebook if possible.

    Answer by Averylee85 at 12:43 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • No. I never give my brothers GFs anything

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:37 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • unless you guys are friends, then no.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 12:37 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I would get her something small, I think the chocolates would be a good gift.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 12:40 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I guess what I'm wondering is, is it bad for me not to get her TWO gifts (one for birthday, one for Christmas).

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:42 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • My brothers birthday is a week after Christmas...almost every year he is either told "this is for you birthday and Christmas" or my mom will save a christmas present and give it to him on his birthday. He hates it. They are two separate celebrations, and they deserve two separate recognitions, be it card verbal or a gift. My daughters birthday is the 9th and I can't tell you how depressing it is to hear my family say they aren't getting her anything because its so close to Christmas...I'm going to make sure she has a celebrated birthday each year.

    Answer by an-apple-a-day at 12:45 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • my sister has been with her SO for over 12 yrs and I have NEVER felt obligated to get him a gift unless we were invited to a birthday party, which we werent so I never got him anything, and My sis or bros have never gotten my DH a gift.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 12:48 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I would say that if you received a gift on your Birthday from her that it's only courteous to return the favor, but it's also only right to give if you are actually giving from your heart. you shouldn't give just because someone gave to you. If you are friends, and you have known her for a while, then yes you should give, but just make sure it's for the right reasons. Good Luck

    Answer by Monarchlov12 at 12:49 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • If I were in this situation and she sent me a gift I would get her a birthday gift. Since she is turning 21, why not send a bottle of wine along with your mom from you?? As far as Christmas is concerned, unless the relationship is serious.... more than two years together I wouldn't buy her a Christmas gift....

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 12:53 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Thanks, Monarch... I feel the same way, like once a gift is obligated, it takes away the meaning. I really do WANT to show her kindness, but like I said, I'm HORRIBLE at picking out gifts, and while I do really like her, I wouldn't say I know her super well. My brother's GFs have ALWAYS given me gifts, at least for Christmas, and that's really sweet of them, it's just... ugh, the whole gift-giving thing is SO stressful for me! The two things that always work are candles and candy, IMO, but if I get her a candle, that seems kind of.... I dunno, redundant? DH and I are in a tight spot financially, but I'm just I could afford $5 or $10 bucks.... but then I do feel like if I go too cheap that's kind of not nice, either. :(

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:53 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

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