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How to you handly grandma's favoring one grandchild over the other?

My mother favors my brothers child over mine. She is always giving my niece things in front of my children. For Christmas this years she was showing me things she go the grandkids. I really wasn't expecting much, honestly. She got my kids each an outfit and 2 toys. Which in my eyes is good enough. But then she showed all the things she go my niece. She had like 15 different things and most them aren't cheap. She even bought a shit load of things for my nieces step sister. My niece has 2 families and she is very spoiled. I feel as if my children are chopped lever to my mother. She always has my niece over she even has her own bed and a box of her own toys. She has nothing for my kids. She rarely watches my kids too. I feel so bad for my kids becasue this is how it is with my MIL too. She favors my stepson over my kids. He as well has his own bed at her place and his own toys. My daughter was born and was around for a full year before we knew about my stepson. (he's older but mm never said anything til he was 18 months old) I almost feel like my kids don't matter to either grandma. They clearly favor one child over the other and they don't hide their feelings about it. They do it in front my my kids. My daughter is about the same age as my niece and stepson and she looks sad when grandma sits there and gives gifts to them and not her. (niece is 5, stepson is 4, daughter is 3 son is 17 months) I have to bring my kids own toys to either grandmas becasue they refuse to let my kids play with the other kids stuff because they don't want them broken or lost. At my mothers house my kids have to sleep on the floor because she wont let them sleep on my nieces bed and my MIL has never had my kids over night. She doesnt want them over becasue she claims to have no room but my step son has stayed over dozens of times.

 
mommy_of_two388

Asked by mommy_of_two388 at 12:58 PM on Dec. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 43 (154,356 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I would address the situation with her directly. And if you aren't comfortable, have your SO. I would not go over so much if you feel like its not beneficial for your family.
    elenalee

    Answer by elenalee at 1:03 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • That is so sad! Don't take your kids' to either of their grandmas if that's what it's like for them. Explain this to your mom and MIL and maybe they'll get the hint. If not, too bad for them. They will miss out on their grandchildren but I think it's too hard on your kids' feelings for that to happen to them all the time.
    Averylee85

    Answer by Averylee85 at 1:04 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I'm so sorry. I would limit the time your kids go over there. And I would make them feel special in some sort of way when their feelings are hurt. I wish I had more to offer. hug
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:11 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • i would talk to your mother.... i know what it is like well from my mom... both of my grandmothers are like that till this day.... but we move on and realize that it really is no big deal cause we have parents that will do so much more for us and love us so much more.... i just want my son to know the same thing too.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 1:23 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • sorry your children are being treated differently. i would have said something along time go! i have a simular situation my neice and my sister daughter are very close they always have sleep overs and my dd is never invited and when she is invited my sister and my neice have there daughters in matching p.j's and my baby feeling left out. that happened almost two years ago and since then i don't F with them like that i won't allow my child to feel left out, un-wanted, or be mistreated. i let them know how i felt and i don't deal with them on that level we deal with for family functions only. but they will never have to worry about my dd. if i was you i would tell them how i feel and wouldn't deal with them anymore if you keep taking your kids around that later in life they will blame you, i blamed my mom for what her sisters did to me because i felt she took me over there they was mean. keep your babies away
    mememommie

    Answer by mememommie at 3:14 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • misteh
    My daughter was the first known grandchild for my MIL but its like she was tossed away like last weeks trashed the moment my stepson was proven my husbands
    NO grandchild should be favored over the other its WRONG its like saying the first born child should be favored
    mommy_of_two388

    Comment by mommy_of_two388 (original poster) at 1:12 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • The first Grandbaby is always the favorite. She still shouldnt let the other kids know it though. Speak up.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 1:06 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

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