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I hate him and pregnant with his baby!

I'm in such a dilemma... I'm pregnant and we already have a daughter together. This person is so direspectful to me and I keep going back. I honestly don't know why. I love him because he's my first everything and my daughters father and have a soft spot for whenever he's around. Lately like usually he is real ugly to me and sirespectufl that I don't want the baby. I sometimes resent it. I hate feeling this way. I have no connection to my pregnancy at alllĀ£ I try to fake it but his attitude towards me makes me so distant to feeling any connection with my baby. I hate that I feel like that and keep contmeplating abortion. I don't want to have one because I am so against it and feel as if my baby didn't ask to be here so I have to take care of him/her. I don't know what to do or think or feel. I hate being in this position at all.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Dec. 11, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (14)
  • Sounds like raging hormones are making you not think clearly. You might want to consider not going back with him anymore and try birth control. Not bashing, just sayin
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • If you are going to resent this baby and have negative feelings for it for the rest of it's life you might want to consider abortion or adoption.
    FragileCrackp0t

    Answer by FragileCrackp0t at 6:10 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Ok first of all please dont have an abortion. You may be upset right now, but imagine how you will feel if you do it, especially since you are against it. As soon as that baby is born I am sure that you will start to feel the connection. If you are early enough to abort, chances are you cant even feel it yet, which makes it hard to connect, I know I have a hard time connecting with the baby early on in pregnancy, and until they are born the connection isnt all the way there. So just keep reminding yourself that things will be different. With your relationship, if you are so misserable change it. And dont go back. Generally my advice is to work it out as far as possible, but if you truelly hate him, your not going to be able to work it out. So its time to move on. Sit down, write a list of 3 things you can do today to make yourself happy, and go do them. Even if its as simple as taking a nice long bath. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Keep in mind that that baby is a part of you, too.

    You deserve to be happy. Don't stay with a man who is always bringing you down. It's not worth it especially when children are involved.
    Simplicity3

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 6:12 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • If you decide to have the baby...do not regret it or anything like that. that will be YOUR precious baby, love him/her b/c he/she is YOURS. The decision is yours. I was in your shoes once. I am sooooo against abortion but I did it b/c I had one child with the guy already and was a single mom (the guy came and went whenever her pleased and I allowed it to happen). But after I got the abortion I did not regret it and I am now focused on me and my son...his dad is in his life and we only deal with each other as strictly parents. You have to decide and stick with what is best for you, the decision is yours. Message me if you want someone to talk to. I totally understand how u feel.
    mzQ

    Answer by mzQ at 6:14 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I would end the relationship with the father. There is no reason you should be with him if he makes you feel like this. Do not have an abortion. You would regret it afterward. Just take care of yourself and your babies.
    Snewo

    Answer by Snewo at 6:14 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I think you need to take your daughter and leave. Don't go back to him. Once you have some distance you will get some clarity on the subject. I would not do anything that cannot be undone. Abortion is permanent. It won't make your life with him any better. It will just give you something else to resent him for.

    Get some counseling and, in the end, if you don't want the baby, adoption is always an option.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 6:16 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Dont let this man that you hate take something so important from you, your child, because of feelings you have for him. Just imagine how you will feel a year from now. Either with a sweet loving, breathing child who adores you, or without one. Forget about this man, and think just about that. Would you be ok not having your daughter even though she is his? Im sure you adore her despite who her father is, when this baby is born I just know you will feel the same way about it. Its your child, its not just a baby its your baby. Im sure that you are in a difficult situation, but I dont want you to regret something like this that you can never take back. You can move on from this man, and have a happy life with your kids, just start taking the steps to make your life better, and then you will be able to build a better bond with your new growing life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:20 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • I think you need a break from him and you need to be with people that are going to support you and love you. I understand not wanting to be with him and being upset with him so just get away. Your baby is going to be wonderful person because of who you are and what you teach him/her, not because of who their father is. Just think long and hard about having an abortion because you don't want to regret going it because of a man.
    Good Luck and know that you are beautiful strong woman, who doesn't need a man.
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 6:27 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • For starters, you need to leave him. Sounds easier than it is, of course, but if you aren't happy and he treats you horribly, on top of the fact that you're pregnant, you need to take a step back and realize that you shouldn't be with him. I found out I was pregnant a week after I broke up with my ex and EVERYONE told me to get an abortion, b/c even though he said he'd be there- we all knew he wouldn't. Anyway, I chose not to b/c I believe everything's meant to happen for a reason and what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. So I had my daughter and was a single mom, going to school, working, and living across the country from my family- all at 21(her dad was/is never involved). I don't regret a second of it, and I know I'd regret every heartbeat I took after having an abortion if i did. No one can tell you to or not to have one, it's your choice- but it's something you really need to sit down and analyze.
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 7:11 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

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