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fiance doesn't want another one yet, but too bad.

I might be pregnant.

now I am pro-choice, and agnostic. my fiance is the same and says that if I get pregnant before our first one is 3 (is just turning one now), and out of diapers, that he wants me to get an abortion. yes we have been using birth control, but I have "that feeling" and so does he. we aren't exactly poor and could swing having another kid.

my problem is that even though I am pro-choice, my choice is not to have an abortion based on non-religious reasons. does any one else have any non-religious ideas to throw at him as to why I shouldn't get an abortion besides the negative physical and psychological impact of having one done.

mind you it can't involve, god, the bible, or anything like that if I want to win this debate, because neither of us put much stock in them.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Nov. 7, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Because it's your body and your choice. I am also pro choice and not religious, but I wouldn't get an abortion if I were to get pregnant right now, even though now is NOT a good time for us. If I were to get pregnant I would keep it simply because it's my body, my baby, my choice. Period. No debate needed.

    Answer by SamanthaAgain at 12:04 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • it's morally wrong! why would you let him dictate your life. he has the right to leave the relationship and you both have the option to adopt the baby out if you let him force you not to keep it. with an option like adoption why would you choose to kill it rather then give it life and then let someone else who wants it have the baby. murder is never the answer to anything. pro-choice. poor baby! as if they had a choice.

    Answer by melody77 at 11:53 AM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • It's the life of a child! Your child, his child, your other baby's brother or sister! It's a life no matter what you believe!

    Answer by feesharose at 11:56 AM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • you could tell him that there is not really reason to get an abortion and if you have the money for it why not. personaly i am against abortion i think it is a awful thing to do. there is always other options like adoption and many other things that you can do

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Sounds like there is no reason to have abortion, if you can afford another baby id say its a bad choice. Iam pro choice it should be a womens right to choose, why bring a unwanted baby into the world and whos to say it would get adopted there are so many kids in the system its ridculas and they make it nearly impossible to adopt. Good luck and in the end its your choice not his. Dont let him make the choice for you.

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 12:17 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • tell him because his logic is flawed. make him give you a legitimate reason, beyond previous attitudes, why you can't have a kid right now. if he can't provide a compelling argument that you should kill his baby, then have the kid. he is on the defensive here, not you. and a human life shouldn't hang in the balance of who is a better debater.


    Answer by teri4lance at 12:33 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Because you don't want one. It's just that simple. Perhaps you can examine your feelings on why you want to continue this pregnancy. Explain that to him. It just feels "right", it feels like its time. You're not comfortable terminating a pregnancy you know you could handle. Unplanned events happen in every life and some of the *best* things that have ever happened to me were unplanned.

    I wouldn't have this argument until you know for sure. Why strain the relationship over a hypothetical? But if you find you are pregnant tell him.

    Some positive sides to this - the kids will be closer. Your daughter won't remember life without her sibling... so she's less likely to resent child number two. If you're not working right now, having kids closer together makes it "faster" for you to get back to work once the kids are in school. Good Luck Mom! :)


    Answer by Serafyna at 12:41 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • If you're "pro-choice" as you say then just use their favorite argument - - "It's MY body." It seems to work for the rest of them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • wow sounds to me like you need to realize that you might of blew your relationship ..hope it works out for you


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Tell him to look at your child and assure him that he'll love this one just as much.

    Answer by sbastille at 1:04 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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