Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Mother in law frustration!

It seems that problems with mil's are all over the world. Mine is sadly an alcoholic and very rough. She gossips about me and threatens to actually ruff me up. She tries to tell me how to raise my kids even though she was never a good mom to her two sons. Im just wondering if any of you have this issue and how you dealt with it?

Answer Question
 
Dezitwins

Asked by Dezitwins at 12:12 AM on Dec. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (294 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Sounds like you need to stand up to her. Have DH step in, too. Is he on the same page with you regarding her?
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:14 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I am sorry you are having those issues with your MIL. I think that you really need to just tell her to back the hell off and mind her own business. I would just let her know that I am not the one for drama and to not approach me or my family with it. Alcoholism has drama written all over it so try not to take it personal, a majority of the issue is probably the disease she is battling.
    CocoaQT

    Answer by CocoaQT at 12:21 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • well ive had problems with my mil, but for the most part we get alone. my hubby does take up for me when big issues pop up. and if my mil ever threatened me, she better hope that she could back up that threat. i dont respond well to threats, and i never back down.
    kmjsmommy12345

    Answer by kmjsmommy12345 at 12:23 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • If threats continue, there's always a police dept. you can call and have her forcibly removed from your presence. But yeah, confront her and let her know (in a non-threatening way) that you will not tolerate her behavior. To hell if whether your husband is on your side or not, if he sees how her behavior is affecting you and is STILL on her side, then he needs to get his priorities straight.
    meganbearden

    Answer by meganbearden at 12:24 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I'm not trying to discount your frustration with her, but maybe she's giving you this unsolicited advice because she knows the mistakes that she made, and she's afraid that you'll make the same mistakes. She doesn't trust herself, therefore how is she supposed to trust anyone else?...
    I will tell you from experience however that my MIL is the same way except for being an alcoholic and threatening to "ruff me up" lol
    Basically keep it on the level of, never giving her pieces of info you don't want her to know and limiting her time around you and your children if she's going to be like that.
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 12:25 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Hey my dh and I are having issues with his parents my inlaws too!
    We've been renting to own my dh's grandparents house god rest there souls.
    And long story short my hubby's dad is an ass and we're moving hopefully before Christmas. His dad ruined Christmas for my family and my poor mil.
    I don't think the damage he's done will ever be fixed!
    He made my dh cry, he never cries!
    I can't stand him!
    Btw we always pay rent on time nothing like that
    nowmommyof2

    Answer by nowmommyof2 at 12:27 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Yes I have cut them off! They are not good for your kids and you!

    People have to learn that family does NOT have a right to hurt you! If they where strangers would you put up with their B.S?

    My husband wanted to cut his parents off years ago and I said "they are your parents" will I was wrong, they got worse now I'm hurting. They are also drinkers, and like giving their Grandkids beer, starting at the age of fifth teen. Thank god my kids told them NO thank you when they where younger. My in-laws hate to drink alone.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 12:30 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • My mother in law isn't an alcoholic. However, she has tried to threaten me in the past. I flipped out on her and wouldn't back down. Now she's very careful not to do it again. We will never get along, but now she watches what she says. Stand up for yourself. If it was a drunk at a bar would you let them threaten you?
    bseastrand

    Answer by bseastrand at 12:37 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I have an evil MIL, and I mean that. She's a hateful person, and just rude. If she tries to give me advice, which is rare, I turn a deaf ear to it. I don't care to hear what she has to say, because....She is not and was not a good Mom to her kids. When I have to be in contact with my MIL, I simply try to kill her with kindness. Thankfully, I don't have much contact with her though.

    My thought is this with your MIL. You can kindly listen to what she has to say, but that doesn't mean that you have to put into action what she tells you. Bottom line is this...You and DH are the leaders in your house, and what y'all say...goes. So, she can always put in her two cents, but that by no means it has to add up to anything to you and your husband :)
    Charlie98

    Answer by Charlie98 at 12:40 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • The problem is that she will actually attack me. She is crazy. Lol. Thanks for the advice girls!
    Dezitwins

    Comment by Dezitwins (original poster) at 1:15 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN