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2 Bumps

What should I do about my boyfriends good friend thats a girl???

My boyfriend who is 40 years old has a female as a good friend whom he texts on his phone.He doesn't see her cause he's always with me.But he mentioned that in the past they had a sexual historyand says he don't want her cause she don't work.I don't like this and don't approve of him doing this.I've talked to him about this more than once.He tells me I'm jealous.Maybe I am,but I've never met her and just knowing they had a sex before really gets to me.I love him but can't deal with this.What do you think?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Dec. 12, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • What are they texting? I think that would be revealing enough. Also, how would he feel if you were keeping up with someone you had a past with? And is he texting a lot? Because if its platonic but he's always texting her, that's emotional energy he's taking away from you.

    In my marriage, we not only stay faithful, but we stay away from things that would put us in the position of just looking unfaithful. It invites too many unpleasant questions and trust issues. Friends of the opposite sex are fine, but you should keep it light and friendly and if you're in it for the long haul, you need to keep the intamacy for your spouse.
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 9:38 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Only you can really answer that...if you can't deal with it, then you truly need to let him know. If it were me, No.. I wouldn't like that either. I don't think it's fair of him to say that you are just jealous, because how would be feel if the tables were turned?
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:42 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I know many disagree, but it is not a good thing to have a close relationship w/someone of the opposite sex if you are in a committed relationship or married. Add to the scenario that he has had a previous sexual relationship w/that person and it's a no-brainer. It's the perfect recipe for disaster!
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 9:23 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Firstly, he is with you and not her and secondly, if there was anything going on, he wouldn't be texting her infront of you. I can understand why you feel a bit insecure, but the more you mention it, the more you will make the problem worse. Just because we are with a partner, it dosen't mean we can't have a connection with another member of the opposite sex. We all have different people in our life that can enhance our personalities and just because his friend is female, it dosen't mean sex is involved. Try not too feel threatened. Try and put yourself in his position. What if you had a friend who was male, nothing sexual, just a really good friend that you have a laugh with and can talk about most things......you wouldn't like it if your boyfriend told you you couldn't speak to him.
    daisydays171

    Answer by daisydays171 at 10:48 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I think you're over reacting about it. She is just a friend, whether they have a history or not. Unless he gives you a reason to think he may be interested in her, or wanting to leave you for her, then its not a big deal. You not wanting them to be friends is just jealousy because you don't actually have a reason why they can't be.
    an-apple-a-day

    Answer by an-apple-a-day at 12:43 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I left my bf (of six years) b/c he was jealous of one of my guy friends. I loved him intensely, but I didn't like the jealousy act. To me it seemed like he didnt trust me. Plus, boyfriends come and go .. friends stay. If you love him you have to trust him. You said yourself he never sees her.
    bseastrand

    Answer by bseastrand at 1:00 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Ok I am going to say something that some people may get pissed about but, I am wierd (and i know it lol)
    IMO the only person you have to trust is your SO and if you can't then why are you with him? I don't worry about other women because i trust that no matter what a women would try my husband would say no and walk away. If you can trust your man you don't have to worry about her.
    momofone072506

    Answer by momofone072506 at 1:09 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Do you trust him? Do you trust her? Do you know her well? My boyfriend's best friend is a female he's know for like 20 yrs but it's pretty convenient for me that she is gay and has a great gf. I love her!
    KellsB2Boys

    Answer by KellsB2Boys at 1:26 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

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