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Complete Honesty, answer anonymously if you have to please.

A friend of mine stated that most people, whether they want to admit it or not, judge a person by race, sex and attractiveness. He says that before you even speak people already have some sort of opinion of you based upon their experience with that race or sex. Personally I was raised not to judge. And I was raised around many different races so I know that many people don't fit the stereotype. So I want to know do you meet a person before you judge? Or are stereotypes on your mind when you meet a certain person? For example when you meet a black woman do you connect her to the stereotype? I want honesty because I'm a military spouse and I travel and when I go to a new base it's a lil harder for me to meet friends. I am more on the shy side so I thought it had more to do with that. But I also wanted to know is there any truth to what my longtime friend said. Are characteristics being attached to me before people even meet me?


Asked by True_Gator_77 at 2:10 AM on Dec. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,803 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I think we all do it. I know I do. But I immediately "check" myself. For example, if I see a black man approaching me, my first thoughts might be "drug dealer, gonna rob me, etc). But I catch myself and chastise myself for my ignorance.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I sociology classes I was taught that basically we do judge people by our preconceived notions about their race, gender, attractiveness, wealth, adn so many other factors, but for most people this is just a first impression and not a lasting one. When it is a lasting impression it is then a prejudice.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 2:14 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • It's called prototyping in psychology. You can think of it as judgement or categorizing. Like if you live where I live you will draw a standard tree like a Redwood, or even a cherry tree, because that's what is in north California. If you live in florida you may draw a palm. And it's the same for people, the goal is not to shut your prototyping off, because it's intuitive, but to be able to over come what ever prototypes you have set for different people.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 3:16 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Where are you stationed? My husband was in the military and I made more friends in Germany than any other place in the United States. First impressions are lasting for me, but I don't necessarily associate a person's skin color with how they are going to act. My three best friends are White, Black and Mexican, I met the Mexican one while stationed in Germany. A person's attire will most definitely cause me to pass judgment though but not the color of their skin.

    Answer by CocoaQT at 2:14 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • thats an honest no for me. My reasoning is, I have worked with a very diverse group of people for 27 yrs. Every ethnic background you can come up with. All great people, and I mean that. They taught me from a very young age that race and creed have nothing to do with who the person is deep down. Same goes for my kids. They are in a high school that is made up of every race, every religion. They have this natural tendency to be much more accepting of everyone, and the others at their school of them. We have had a wonderful experience in this city we live in, I wouldnt trade it for the world.


    Answer by beyondhopes at 2:15 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Here's my thing. I don't necessarily "judge" someone on race or anything like that. However if I cross paths with someone who looks really scary of course I'm going to be extra cautions. I know it's wrong but even with hispanics and blacks I'm always cautions the first couple times just for the pure fact that I know if they wanted to hurt me they could. However that doesn't stop me from being friendly or nice. I just may not stand as close as if it were say a woman my own age.

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 3:02 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I do not judge according to race or stereotypes but I will in my head have some preconceived notions of cleanliness and things like that. And it is usually based on appearance of themselves and their little ones. Clothes with whole in them, dirty, body odors, dirty fingers, as much as I would like to get passed things like that it is hard for me.

    Answer by Melbornj at 3:15 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • negated yourself in your own response, you idiot!!!! You say that you know hispanics and blacks can hurt you, so does that mean that you doubt a white man or woman or an asian or any other race for that matter could hurt you if they really wanted to do so. That sort of wording angers me, because it just perpetuates the stereotypes. I was actually sexually assaulted by a man a few years ago who was not an american and he was eventually deported after serving his sentence here but I am not such an idiotic american (as most of u people are) that I would disparage his entire culture for it. A person makes the choice to commit a crime!!!!!!!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 3:33 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I think we all make assumptions about people when we first meet, but they may not be based on things like ethnicity or gender. They may be based on someone's job, or who they are friends with, or where you've met them, or how they are dressed. These assumptions let us decide on subjects of conversation and guess at what will be perceived as funny, polite, impolite,'s like when a "psychic" does a cold reading. But with each thing you get to know about a person, it replaces some of your previous assumptions about what that person is like.

    Answer by SWasson at 8:18 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I think it's part of being human to use what our senses pick up about a person to make our first impression - how a person looks has a lot to do with our first thoughts. For me, I rely more on the "feeling" of a person and not as much on their appearance.


    Answer by scout_mom at 9:03 AM on Dec. 12, 2010