Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice Please!

i was raped twice. once at 14 and again at 16(not by the same guy) and i have a 1yr old as the result of my 2nd rape. where i live, its not uncommon to get pregnant young, not b married or in a relationship, and have no baby daddy around but its looked down on big time. especially since i was the one who wasnt doing all thosre things and the adults liked me, i was respectful. now that i have a son, adults dont want my help they think im in "the devils work" and thats how i make money to support my child. i get its a sin thrown at me a lot. i just walk away but even my dad wont speak to me and he knows that i was raped which is how i got pregnant. my mom and a few friends are the only supportitive people i have. i would move but i dont have enough money for that. when i got pregnant, i was the talk of the town. everyone stared and whispered things behind my back. what are you opinons and their thoughts and views? how do you see it? and any advice how to handle this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on Dec. 12, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • How can your mom deal with your dad? Honestly, I couldn't deal with my hubby if we were in this situation with our daughter. But, if we were, that monster wouldn't have to worry about being in jail, either.
    All that is just pure craziness. In the church that I go to, not so much, but grew up in, there is a girl that had a baby at 16. Her friend ended up preggo, too. But went to a different church. HER church shunned her, so now she goes to our church. They threw her a baby shower and all. This is what YOU need. This kind of support. Our church doesn't care if you are 16, married, or what. They see you need support, and you get it. Whatever it takes, you get it. To me, that's what religion is, that's a part of it. Even IF you hadn't been raped, if it had been a BF, you still needed support.
    Just hold your head high, love yourself and your son. Do what you have to do to get out, and never go back!
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 1:30 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • So, your father knows you got pregnant as a result of being raped, and he is still shunning you? That is so backwards I can't conceive of how anyone could maintain that mindset. I'm so sorry you can't afford to move somewhere else right now—sane, reasonable people don't blame someone for having been raped.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 8:48 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Did you throw the guy in jail who raped you or did you keep it hush hush? And, where do you live? By the sounds of it, it seems like you live in one of those creepy Christian communes. But, that is just me being judgemental & I'm sorry.


       My opinions? I think they are all a bunch of assholes & if i were you it would be my life mission to move far-far away from a town like that.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:48 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • You need to move!! Pray for god to help you find a way out of there, you do NOT deserve to live in such an oppresive judgemental atmosphere...if you go somewhere new where no one knows you, you'll be free to just be you..stress plays such a strong role in our spiritual, mental and even physical health. You will feel like a new person if you can get away from that stuff and maybe even shed those awful memories and be happy free person again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I am sorry for all you must be going through. I see you as an extremely strong mommy, who chose precious life for her little one,and that speaks volumns of love. It is truly sad that you have to be judged or looked down upon. You did what you felt was best,and that should be all that matters. You cannot live your life always pleasing others. Please don't allow the negative remarks to effect you. I can imagine it is hard,however look into your child's eyes and know you did the right thing. If you need a friend you can message me.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 8:56 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • And he did not get punished for his crime??? Ugg I hate it when that happens that way. All I can tell you is to hold your head high you know you did no wrong and you don't want your son seeing you cower because of some peoples ignorance. Work your hind end off at school or a job to get to where you can leave. Talk to your mom and tell her how you are feeling maybe she will help you out. Also if you haven't already I would suggest seeking counseling. Not doing so can cause a lot of problems for you later in life. When I was 12 I was raped and I never really got the help I should have in dealing with it and I now have issues when it comes to intimacy and trusting men. Thankfully I have found a patient understanding man to love. I wish you luck and If you do want to just talk or vent some feel free to message me. I know some about what you are going through.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 9:12 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • My heart goes out 2 u during  the trials & tribulations that u had 2 endure. First, i'm glad that u went on ahead & gave birth 2 your precious child. And second of all, try 2 hold your head up high & try not 2 allow the negative things that people say about u to get u down & make u feel bad about urself. Rest & depend on God, honey! He'll  DEFINITLY make a way for u & your child. Just pray 2 Him & things will start changing for the better.

    NubianQueen78

    Answer by NubianQueen78 at 9:48 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • it does seem like you live in a backwards community. If you're spiritual, i would pray a lot & ask god to help you move away from such hate & ignorance. Pour your heart out into that prayer & keep on doing it. You don't deserve to be treated that way, i am so sorry you're going through this right now.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:51 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I am so sorry that so called Christians are treating you that way if they were true Christians then they would know that God blessed that child you have. every child is a blessing from God no matter how he came into the world. Sweetheart God loves you so much He was sad about how you were treated when you were raped but he loved you so much that he gave you a special gift that only he can give no one else. so hold your head up high and don't listen to to the people who are self rightious. Jesus said he who is without sin let him cast the first stone. None of them could cast a stone at you because none of them are with out sin. Please always remember that God loves you and your precious baby and both of you are special to him no matter what anyone else thinks God Bless you and take care. I will be praying for you because unlike those people in your town I am a christian who cares about you.
    Die4Jesus

    Answer by Die4Jesus at 9:15 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • First ((((HUGS)))) second it seems like you need a new and fresh start and maybe signing up for schollarships to a college in another town will help you get it maybe even moving to a place where they do not know you or joining Job corpse anything where your child can come dare I say even the military to help you move into a bigger circle. There is a lot of things you can do just some suggestions.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:58 AM on Dec. 12, 2010