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My 3 year old daughter cries/whines ALL the time!! i am losing it...

My 3yr old cries from the time she gets up until the time she goes to bed....I have 2 other kids that were great toddlers/ babies..But my 3rd is a nightmare....she loses her mind on everything... EX: she asked for a fruit roll up, i opened it, and handed it to her, but it tore a tiny bit and she screamed like someone was killing her, she woulnt not eat it.... But she is like that about everything....Things have to be HER way or no way...my husband, the sibling and I are frustrated and do not like being around her...i know that sounds bad, but dont judge me... Nothing can make her happy.... I am a full time nursing student and i am a busy mom, but i do spend time with my family....i need help, i am losing my mind!!!!!!!!!

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tklsmom

Asked by tklsmom at 9:43 AM on Dec. 12, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 4 (49 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Ignore her. Don't give in to her tantrums.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 9:46 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • My daughter did that too. I found that being in school started to help since she had other things to think about and she was with children in her own age bracket in a learning environment.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 9:52 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • In the fruit rollup instance you mentioned I would have set it on the table and calmly told her sometimes they rip and walk away. I know that this is not always the solution but is she getting enough one on one time with your SO and you? Lots of times kids go for the negative attention when they don't get enough positive attention. Plus she needs praise when she does things right. These things can go a long way to easing the situation. She might be truly an overly sensitive child and maybe you should run this behavior by your pediatrician. Also maybe look a some books about overly sensitive children. I feel for you. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 9:58 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • i dont think ignoring her is the answer, pay attention to what is REALLY setting her off and start writing it down there is a possiblitly she cannot help it, she may have some sort of SPD (sensory processing disorder) so things like a torn fruit roll up are the end of the world and she just cannot get her brain to look past it. here is one site that lists a TON of signs and symptoms of it but keep in mind she does not have to have all or even half of the symptoms to possibly have it
    http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/symptoms-of-SPD.html
    good luck mama! hopefully shes just a stubborn particular toddler
    Riosmommy

    Answer by Riosmommy at 9:58 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Mine is excessively weepy to. We have taken to calling her tiny tears. In your fruit roll up example I would have simply asked 'Do you want a fruit roll up or not? This is the only you get you can eat it or put it in the trash but this is the only one I am opening.' then set it on the counter and walked off. If she threw it (which mine would at least half the time) It would go in the trash and snack would be over. End of story.

    It sounds like you just need a break though. Is there any way someone can maybe take her for a couple of days for a spend the night party? This would give you some much needed 'off' time. Keep in mind. This to shall pass.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 10:06 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I tell my kids that they can cry and whine all they want, but they need to do it in their room. Then I put them there. They can come out when they are ready to act in an expected manner. If they cry or yell again, off to the room they go, again.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 10:14 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Some pretty cruel answers here. I wouldn't ignore her and tell her to go cry in her room. I would calmly explain why things have to be this way (a torn fruit roll up for example) then I would redirect her attention elsewhere. Maybe she needs more individual attention from you and this is how she is showing it. I feel bad for kids that are miserable all the time, and there is usually a reason for it besides just chalking it up to being 3. Be gentle and understanding with her. Patience is one of the most important traits we can have as mothers.
    CarriePM

    Answer by CarriePM at 10:25 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • OH and just an FYI, my son has autism and he screams, cries and whines a lot when he does not get his way. We have been working with a PhD level Behavioral Specialist and it was recommened to us, by her, to let him know that is behavior is unexpected and put him in his room. We are to also let him know that he can scream, whine and cry all he wants/needs to there and when he is ready he can come out. This method worked for us.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 10:35 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 10:37 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Well my daughter is 18 months old and I was sitting here sincerely thinking I cant wait till shes older but after reading this I am now scared LOL, My daughter is the same way and honestly I think its just her personality I try to ignore her as much as possible and at this age your child should have a better understanding of boundaries, I think what Ill try and try to do is just explain that she cant always have her way and bad behavior will have consequences, but my advice to you if you are feeling over whelmed sometimes give yourself a time out. Good luck Message me anytime if you wanna swap horror stories lol
    rhonda111787

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 11:37 AM on Dec. 12, 2010

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