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2 Bumps

Why when talking about adoption is it always brought up that there are loving couples without kids?

Shouldn't adoption be all about what's best for the baby? I think it's great if someone decides that they can't take care of their baby and wants it to have a loving family. But that shouldn't even be a consideration when deciding to keep your baby.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Dec. 12, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (18)
  • Why wouldn't you consider a loving family - that IS what is best for the baby. Be it your family, or helping create a new family with someone that cannot have biological children of their own.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:25 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I think it's more an argument for people who are pro-life/anti-choice. Adoption can be harder than abortion (which is still a very hard decision for most moms), and no one should be judged for having to make that choice (unless that's what people use as a form of birth control, which sadly happens). I agree with you that it's about what's best for the baby, and with overpopulation in the world, perhaps adoption ISN'T always the best option. Frankly, I think we need better education about birth control.

    Answer by musicpisces at 2:26 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Maybe because in years past--and still in certain countries--babies were given up to orphanages. An abandoned or given up child had very few prospects in life. Yes, it is most important to consider the baby in adoptive situations but I think birth mothers should also consider where their baby will be going.

    Answer by SaraBeth1204 at 2:28 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I didn't mean for it to sound like they shouldn't consider the family if they choose adoption. But a teenager shouldn't choose adoption just because they are couples that can't have kids.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:31 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • No, BUT a teenager needs to consider that parenting is a lifetime commitment. That she has to grow up and grow up fast. There will no longer be time to party, socialize, etc. Because schooling and the baby are going to be her life for a long, long time. If she cannot handle that realization, then there are other avenues to explore.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:35 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I agree with you that adoption should be about what is best for a child. Providing a child to a family who wants a child (or another child) should not enter into the decision. I think mentioning that there are loving families that want children to an expectant mom considering adoption is sometimes used as a way to guilt her and make her think she is doing something good by placing her child.

    As for teens needing to consider that parenting is a lifetime commitment, I give most teens enough credit to know that. I knew at nearly 17 when my daughter was born that raising her was a lifetime commitment. I thought raising her would be far more rewarding than partying, etc. and I was so right. I don't agree with pushing adoption on a young woman by telling her about all she's going to miss by parenting young. Becoming a birth mom at a young age is no picnic either....I wouldn't wish that on anyone in most cases.

    Answer by Southernroots at 3:21 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • A loving family should be what the birth mom wants for the baby, I don't see a problem with it.

    Answer by scout_mom at 4:18 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I say forget abortion/adoption and be responsible and work hard and take care of your own children.

    Answer by 1LovelyAngel at 4:32 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Because by merely being a couple who is looking to adopt you are all of sudden deemed "better" & "deserving" of a baby....that some poor young mother should most certainly hand her baby over to such people because of course they deserve to be parents more then she does! (note sarcasm here)

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • A loving coupe should be a consideration when adopting, you wouldn't want a couple who doesn't love each other and want one bad.....

    Answer by older at 5:11 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

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