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My five year old son has severe anxiety issues when it comes to sharing anything that is his own or our families'.

I noticed it when he was 3 and we had my daughter. I thought it was all the changes taking place. I've tried so many things to make him realize that it's more fun to share, it's kind to share, etc. We can't have playdates at our house, because he gets so upset and starts to panic and cry when any other kids are here. He's an extremely compassionate child, very caring, and it great in social situations (as long as it isn't at home). I've been persistent on trying to remedy the behavior, but am completely out of ideas.

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Mommy_HL

Asked by Mommy_HL at 3:44 PM on Dec. 12, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Is he a germaphobe?
    I was,still am in fact,and i get anxious when anyone comes to my house
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:50 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Could you maybe invite one friend over and bake cookies with your son telling him they are for when the friend visits? Talk to the other mom beforehand and elicit her help in trying to work on this problem. A lot of moms would be glad to cooperate with this. They can be prepared to leave when necessary. You could also have specific toys out that will be shared. Plus maybe a board game that you two moms would play with the kids. Just ideas..............
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 3:51 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I would start slowly and be very consistant and expose him to sharing in many different ways everyday.

    For instance, start by showing him how you share, get some canned goods, donate them...tell him why you are doing it.....ask him if he would like to pick out a can or two.....

    Then maybe do a toy donation box...let him pick out something PRAISE him and tell him he is doing a great job...

    Then maybe work up to his own toys...ask him to pick out something that is a "baby " toy he no longer likes....take it to a local shelter....PRAISE him....

    PLAY SHARE games with him....pull out 4 toys...mom gets 2 he gets 2....show him how to swap and share and how YOU react when he wants to play with one of your toys....

    It will take a long long time probably...but modeling is key and SHOWING him your behavior is key as well....

    When my kids were little I would take them to the toy section and let them see a toy while I di
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 3:58 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • *while I did the shopping...then I made a big deal about how we had to put it back and not buy anything this time.....and I would make a huge deal when they acted appropriately....and I have never had an issue with them pitching a fit for a new toy....a little different situation I know...but the same general principal.

    Dont give up :) He can get it :) Right now he is in the ME stage. Normal :)
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 3:59 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • My nephew did exactly this & this is how my sister dealt with it.

    She would not let him play with other people's things. She said "If you want to play with other people's toys, then you need to share your own. It's not fare if you get to play with other kids stuff, but you won't share yours. So, if you want to play with his/her toys, then you need to show me how you can share your things" But, in her own words. I'm just paraphrasing.

    She did this for only a month before he learned that sharing is always best. It worked like a charm & i thought she was a genius for fixing her son's annoying issue.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:05 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Also, he was only 3 when she did this (almost 4) I'm sure your 5 year old will understand you perfectly...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:06 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Samurai_chica seems to be on the right track. Good luck to you.
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 1:45 AM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • How old is he? Sometimes it takes longer for kids to really understand the concept of sharing and that things will be given BACK and not gone forever.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 9:08 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

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