I have tried a lot of the birth control methods out there. Lets see, I have tried the condoms, vaginal ring, mirena, depo shot. My hubby wont use condoms those for long periods. I got pregnant on the vaginal ring. Mirena made me gain 20 pounds and made my depression and anxiety worse. The depo shot made me gain so much weight also. I stopped. I also tried spermicides. I got pregnant on that also. I have 4 kids right now. We cannot afford another. Hubby and I discussed it. Had to go in for termination. I am just so depressed about everything. Right now, we just talked about our options for bc and I suggested he got a vasectomy, since most of what we have tried so far hasnt worked out. He said he would absolutely not have a vasectomy as that is against his beliefs. But an abortion is? I feel so sad about it all. He absolutely doesnt care about my feelings and needs. I have decided not to have sex with him until he gets one. He has tried to have sex with me (with a condom) and I didnt give in. I just cannot take any more chances. Condoms are not 100%.
I am also thinking about leaving him. If we cannot see eye to eye on this issue, then we cannot be together. Am I overreacting. I just cannot see myself having another abortion,I just cannot. He doesnt seem to understand that it is not completely up to me to keep trying and trying all these BC methods that have failed us many times. If he is so done with kids like he says he is, then what is the problem? WHy cant he have a vasectomy. He is 31 by the way. He mentioned that I could tie my tubes. I felt very sad when he said that. He would rather have me have an irreversible and invasive surgery than having a simple non-invasive AND 100% reversible procedure. I think he is selfish and I cannot stand to be around him right now. I am very depressed about everything. I want to leave him. Am I overreacting? And if so, What would you guys do?
Asked by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Dec. 12, 2010 in Relationships
Answer by m-avi at 5:14 PM on Dec. 12, 2010
Answer by older at 5:14 PM on Dec. 12, 2010
Discuss with him what his fears are. Make an appointment with a Urologist to have him explain it to him
Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:15 PM on Dec. 12, 2010
Answer by hibbingmom at 5:15 PM on Dec. 12, 2010
I think leaving him is a bit rash. He has a right to opt out of a vesectomy, it's his body & there are still options. What about the permenent birth control? My friend has 5 kids, her DH also refused the vasectomy. So, she got the essure. She absolutely loves it. Here is a link to their site.
Also, i know 2 men who had horrible experiences with their vasectomy & both were in severe pain for almost a year. There certainly can be problems with a vasectomy.
Answer by samurai_chica at 5:18 PM on Dec. 12, 2010
Answer by hibbingmom at 5:19 PM on Dec. 12, 2010
Answer by samurai_chica at 5:20 PM on Dec. 12, 2010
Answer by FXmomTo3 at 5:22 PM on Dec. 12, 2010
Answer by Kelli1012 at 5:25 PM on Dec. 12, 2010
Answer by mistynights234 at 5:42 PM on Dec. 12, 2010