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Why does she stay?

My little sister is with a man that so needs to grow up.All they do is fight. THey have a 2year old son and a 3 week old dd. He went to jail today for testing dirty something he knew that he was gonna have to do for over a month now.
He will not work all he does is smoke pot. Plus she has to get a sitter for the kids when she goes to work cause he can't be trusted. She can support her self I don't know why she stays? She left last year for a few months but went right back. She has totally trashed her life for the time being. I just don't get it? She deserves so much more and better.....WHY!!! Why do women put up with this CRAP!

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Nov. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Sounds like shes scared to be a single mother of two and figures atleast this way someone is there. even if hes no help what so ever.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • She has allreay told you why she stays right,, because she LOVES HIM.

    Answer by louise2 at 1:54 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Yes she does love him, and wants to leave but she's afriad?? I don't get it either..But I can B%*@ about it

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • cause she doesn't have enough self esteem for herself. she probably feels the kids need their daddy. i stayed for a long time then one day i thought. i hate living like this and decided to give him ultimatum me or his drugs. he chose his drugs so i left. so happy that i did. i don't believe she loves him but feels she does cause she has past issues to deal with and that he fills a sick void in her life. she needs to read these to books. get them for her and tell her to read them. one is co-dependency no more or co-dependent no more (i forget the name) and women who love to much. this should help open her eyes. i read co-dependency no more and that opened my eyes. although it took me awhile to leave.

    Answer by melody77 at 1:59 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • As a woman who has been in an abusive relationship, I can understand what your sister is going through and the only thing I can tell you is that (at least for me), when you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, you'll leave because it's not easy (and if it's a physically abusive relationship like mine was, I hope she sees things sooner than later). My friends and family told me the same thing, "you can do better, you don't deserve to be treated like this, leave him alone and he's not going to change" and they were right, but I couldn't see it at the time. I thought that because I loved him and had two children together, I COULD CHANGE HIM.


    Answer by LovingParent08 at 2:03 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • VENT AWAY..She will leave him when she is really ready.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:08 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • All you can do is keep encouraging with positive words and support her either way, whether she leaves or not (and I know that's easier said than done BECAUSE SHE IS YOUR SISTER AND YOU LOVE HER AND YOUR NEICES/NEPHEWS, but pushing and harping on her is not going to change her mind. In fact, it might only push her away. GL and I hope this helps some.

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 2:21 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I have a best friend...that is kinda in the same situation...her husband has changed when he went into the army and he just became cold and he acts like a child! He doesn't really even spend much time with their two daughters. The oldest will be 3 this month and the youngest will be 2 in july! He doesn't discipline them...he thinks that he is the bad guy if he does that! He is just immature and his oldest daughter has daddy wrapped around her finger she gets away with alot with him. He is abusive mentally and has hitten her physically in the past! Fear is the reason why she isn't leaving! I tried to knock some sense into her many times but no matter what I say she continues to stay with him.

    Answer by businesswife1 at 2:27 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • has hitten the mother his wife..not the child!

    Answer by businesswife1 at 2:28 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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