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how do you keep youself sane?i been home for 8 months now due mostly to being pregnant and i can only imagine what im going to go there when my son arrives , i feel real depressed and alone alot of time and also feel like guilty my bf is working 15hrs shift everyday how do you guys feelabout your bf or husbands paying for everything , i hate to say buh i feel like he runs and owns everything lately we had many arguemets cause of this .

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firstimemommy21

Asked by firstimemommy21 at 6:07 PM on Dec. 12, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 12 (663 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Hun, I know it can be hard. There are times when I struggle. If anything, it's keeping my son entertained that's the hardest. Not to mention, I'm convinced my son is more clingy than most his age, lol! My friends' babies that are his age are not like this, lol...but then again, their moms work, so they're used to being away from their moms sometimes. My only advice is to find things to do. Search on the internet for things. Go to the library, museums, mom groups, places where they can play, etc. Even go to the grocery store to buy something if it gets you out of the house. It'll split up your day some and will make it much more manageable. This time of year, we're really limited bc of the weather, so it's getting tough again.

    My husband does pay for things, but I'm doing a job that's just as important as the one he's doing. I earn that money just as much as he does!

    If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message m
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 6:13 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I felt this way at first too, it's hard to see yourself as an equal contributor when you don't have any financial input with the family. Now, though, I see that not only do I take care of all of the household responsibilities (he mows the yard and fixes things when they break, I do everything else) but I also take on 99.9% of the parenting responsibilities and I am the sole educator of our kids. When you figure all of the responsibilities that I take on, he would be paying about 6x his annual salary to hire enough people to take over all I do. When you look at it that way, you start to see your own worth. Good luck. (c:

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 6:13 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Oh, and believe me...you will no be a bored once the baby comes. He/she will keep you plenty busy, lol!
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 6:13 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I've never felt it was my place to entertain a child. And, since I stayed home by choice (because I didn't have children so someone else could raise them) I was not bored, trapped or angry about 'being home.'

    So, instead of wondering when the entertainment committee was going to come by to keep me distracted or the awards committee coming to pat me on the back, I expected my life to be my responsibility. If I wanted to talk to other people, I needed to do something about that. If I wanted nicer surroundings, I needed to make that happen.

    The most daunting part of being a sahm, in my experience, is knowing that whatever it looks like is my responsibility --and my freedom. I chose. No one else's. Yes, if it went wrong it was all my fault, too --but more importantly, it was within my power to make it right, rewarding, meaningful and wonderful.

    So I did.

    You can, too. If you take responsibility for it.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 6:21 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Connect with other stay at home moms... I did this and now my house is coffe central about 2-3 times a week! LOVE this and have made some wonderful friends in the process! We now trade off babysitting when needed! Movies, library and gonig out even for a walk. goto the gym... you'll find a ton to do dont worry
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 6:47 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • how do i find groups for young moms to connect with other moms my age in my area ?
    firstimemommy21

    Comment by firstimemommy21 (original poster) at 6:53 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I found hobbies. I was bored out of my mind after my first was born. Newborns are not as hard as people make them out to be. Mine just slept all the time. I just had my 5th and I'm still bored half the time. The other half I'm frustrated as hell because I can't get anything done with the kids around (they are 10, 9, 8, 4 1/2 and 5 months). My husband works two 16 hour days and one 8 hour day a week and has 4 days off. He sits around and does nothing on his days off. And it's not "his" money, it's always been "our" money since we first got engaged. When my older 3 kids were little I started to literally lose my mind and had to take up logic puzzles to keep my brain from turning to mush (I started talking to my husband in baby talk because the only people I saw all day were the kids). Now I have all sorts of hobbies I do when I can.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 7:49 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I know how you feel! My baby just turned 8 months old. I stopped working when I was 7 months pregnant. I still feel guilty that my husband works. But I know that what I am doing is important too. I get to enjoy raising my child instead of paying someone to do it for me. The first few months you will be too busy getting to know your baby and getting a routine down. When my son turned 4 months we started going places, I enrolled him in infant swimming lessons at the YMCA, we also go to storytime at the library. I am starting to meet alot of moms with babies the same age there, I also started a playgroup with 3 other babies the same age. If you go online you can find local playgroups in your area, there might be a local group for your area here on cafemom too. If you need a friend to talk to Im here anytime!
    wood1980

    Answer by wood1980 at 7:57 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I was bored. I decided to go back to work. I had to go back or lose my mind!
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 8:11 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I know EXACTLY how you feell! My son is 5 months and I'm a stay at home mom. My husband works a full time job and is only there on the weekends and weekdays only after 6pm (around which time the baby is almost asleep). It can be very frustrating and I get very bored and annoyed. If anything remember that there's nothing you can really do unless you want a nanny to raise your baby. My husband actually sees what I'm doing as more difficult than his job and he's thankful so I'm lucky. I busy myself with little things like grocery shopping, learning about things on the internet, watching movies, going for walks with my baby. I'm also a part-time student so school work gives me something to do sometimes. If you have the money for it, I would definitely suggest enrolling in a class even if it's just for fun because it gives you something to do and keeps you thinking and learning about interesting subjects.
    walkintherain

    Answer by walkintherain at 9:23 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

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