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2 Bumps

Domestic abuse... but not how you'd imagine it...

I live in an apt. My neighbors upstairs are CONSTANTLY fighting.  They have a 2 year old son together.  I've actually called the cops on them numerous times because I could hear the woman screaming for help and her son screaming....


Now here is the part that I never noticed...   She is NEVER hurt. No bruises... no scratches... no blood.  But the man is constantly covered in scratches, bruises, and blood.  Earlier I could hear them arguing again... so I opened my front door and he came downstairs with a fat lip and chipped tooth.  I asked if everything was okay and he just started sobbing and telling my his life story...

I guess they are from Africa, and have only been in the US for about 3 years.  She seems to have a mental issue of some sort because she just screams and screams over everything... and this guy seems sooo p*ssy whipped. He was telling me how he hangs around for the child because he knows how the mom is favored in divorce cases.  So not only does the woman scream at him (in front of their son), she also hits him all the time. She laughs about it and practically begs for him to hit her back. 

I tried telling him to call the cops on her when she hits him... then he can leave her and have police reports stating that she is abusive.  But, he doesnt want to do that because in his culture the men are men.  He doesnt want other men to know that he is being abused.   I told him to come to my apt with his son the next time it happens... but I dont think he will.  I told him to let her see him coming to my apt, then I am a witness to her shennanigans.  But I dont think he will...


My issue/question is this...  The next time that happens, should I call the cops?  My main concern is that child.   *sigh* IDK what to do for this poor guy. 




The cops have been called at lease a dozen times, half of the time by my I'm sure (I was calling more because of the noise though). 

He told me earlier that he lies to the cops and says that she didnt hit him... even though he was standing there with a fat, bloody lip.  No complaining witness... no crime.  He doesnt want to admit that he is being abused.

Answer Question

Asked by Mandiii04 at 8:49 PM on Dec. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (89 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Yes call the cops! Men can be victims too! He needs to start documenting everything and get the child out of there before she turns on the child.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 8:52 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Yes call the cops and tell them the story. I'd call the cops and tell them what you saw, that HE is the victim

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:58 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Absolutely call. You be sure and tell them what he said to you.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:58 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Give it time, maybe take pictures of him next time they have a fight, so you have proof. After you have proof call the cops so you can help this poor guy. I wish you the best, and hope you can really help him without getting in trouble. Keep us post it if it possible.

    Answer by bratgirln1 at 8:58 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Yes, call the cops. Maybe it will scare her enough to snap her out of it. That poor baby.

    Answer by CarriePM at 9:01 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Keep calling the cops, tell them she is beating on him. Maybe he isn't saying anything when the cops arrive, hence nothing happening??

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 9:02 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • i would call every single time!!

    Answer by genagina at 9:02 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • A lot of men suffer in silence. They are supposed to be "men" and stronger .. blah blah blah. I'd call the cops and say she hits him etc.

    Answer by bseastrand at 9:03 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • YES call the cops!! i've been involved in domestic abuse and when strangers called the cops a couple times, it literally saved my life. also i've done research and reports on this, and this is the EXACT reason female vs. male DV is so under-reported, because men don't want to appear weak. please call the cops, it's best for that child. plus if it were to go to divorce, you could be a witness then (if you're willing) and help. good luck- it's tough..after living through it i've had to call the cops on neighbors too, and it's not easy...

    Answer by lexi8622 at 9:08 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • also be careful opening your home to them. it's a nice gesture, but it could traumatically backfire if that psycho woman comes after you.

    Answer by lexi8622 at 9:09 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

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