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Married to one guy, but havn't been with im since november '08, & having a baby with someone else...need HELP

i found my husband and his mistress in our home on xmas day in bed...after that night something snapped ME outta it and out of my love for him. seeing them together helped me move on. about a month later I started hanging out with an old crush from highschool....we've been together ever since and I accidently got pregnant and we are having a baby girl in december! ANYWAY....people keep telling me that since my "husband" wont sign the divorce papers, and im still legally married to him, I can't put the BIOLOGICAL father's name on the Birth Certificate....and i DO NOT wanna put my husbands on there..thats a i dont know what im going to do....and seriously its so unfair that his mistriss (that he got preg.) can put any damn name she wants on the B.C. but i cant....Why does everything happen to me.if anyone can shed some light on this it would really help!

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Asked by Loveaddict6 at 2:16 PM on Nov. 7, 2008 in Pregnancy

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Answers (11)
  • If you are married, and give birth to a child, the hospital automatically assumes the child is the husbands, and will put the husband on the birth certificate, no questions asked. If, however, you tell the hospital that the child is not your husbands child, but another man's child whom you're not married to, and you want the other man's name on the birth certificate, you ALL must sign an Affidavit of Paternity. You sign as the mother, the husband signs the denial section, and the other guy signs as the father. Pretty sticky situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • cont...... Most states consider children to be the product of a marriage. If you father a child with a married woman and she chooses to go back to her husband for whatever reason - he has no rights to the child. EVEN IF he proves paternity. Furthermore, the husband could claim rights to the child. There is a very interesting Supreme Court case about this and I cannot recall the name. I don't agree with it but it is to protect marriage.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I don't know about the birth certificate, but I was married before and I got a divorce. Go file the paper work and get a court date, if he doesn't show up the judge will consider it no contest and you will be granted a divorce. Thats what I had to do...good luck and god bless!!

    Answer by tall_mom42 at 2:39 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • You should be able to put whatever name that you want on the birth fill it out, not the hospital, so whoever that anon poster is that said that the hospital assumes...the hospital doesn't assume anything. They would be stupid to in this day and age. If I were you I would contact your local courthouse and ask if there is anything keeping your from putting the biological father on the birth certificate.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 2:46 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • NOV of 08??

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • You'll have to check out your state laws. Here in SC, if you're married, then your husband is the child's legal father no matter what, and to get him taken off and the biological father put on in the event of a divorce, you have to fill out an affidavit of paternity (no blood tests, just the paperwork). So you'll have to ask someone who knows for your state.

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 3:27 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • i lied, but it was my husbands baby. I didn't want him involved and I told the nurse everything he had done and how i couldn't let him be on the bc, and she brought me a new paper and said start over, but this time, you're not married and you have no idea who the father is. and this time, im still married to him (unfortunately) and expectign a baby from my bf of over a year and ill still be not married and list bf as the father. ill lie for my child, any day.

    Answer by katimae at 3:55 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • my husband went through this with his ex wife. She was still married to him but had been with the other man for a couple of years, when their baby was born the hospital had a paper called "denial of paternity" my hubby signed it, she signed it and the baby's daddy was listed on the birth certificate. However, the court said that my hubby could still be liable for child support untill the divorce was over. it was a mess, in the state of Missouri you can't get a divorce even if it's not your husbands child.

    Answer by gerti at 4:29 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • yeah it was in nove of 2008...

    and we ended up calling the im having the papers of paternity or whatever mailed ta me and i have to sign and them bring to the court....
    hopefully he will sign this, since he refuses to sign the divorce papers in an effort to get our car from me.

    and i guess itll take like 4 weeks....hopefully itll all be worked out by dec 18th!

    Answer by Loveaddict6 at 4:57 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • SHIT i mean this all started in november 2007! lol i get that shit like 3 months after our marriage

    Answer by Loveaddict6 at 4:59 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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