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contacting birth father????

I want to contact my birth father. I know where he lives and everything, BUT i'm afraid. He has three other children and is married. He and my mother were in high school and he had nothing to do with me. I know nothing about his family history (medically speaking), thats the main reason i think. He was not on my birth certificate and he KNOWS about me. What should I do? He has a sister, should I contact her? she has met me before. I'm scared and dont know what to do, or where to go about finding his family (for family tree).

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Asked by mommyof20507 at 2:20 PM on Nov. 7, 2008 in Adoption

Level 4 (53 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Could you write him a letter & have the sister give it to him? Might be a little less threatening that way. If his current family has no idea they wont be shocked or anything if you were to just call or something. She could be a good intemediary I think if she wants to do that. Maybe he has always wondered about you too but did not know what to do about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • The only thing with his sister is i dont know if she would. She met me when I was in 5th grade and then just stopped contacting me after a few visits.

    Answer by mommyof20507 at 2:28 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Yep, I'd approach through the sister. Or another 3rd party. But don't make it confrontational. Make it non-threatening and away from the family he has now. It should be his decision as to how much if any to tell them. Good luck. I wish everyday that I could call or write my son's b-parents to let them know how great he is doing. But they left him on a bench in a railway station a world away when he was 3 months old. We have nothing we can do to ever help him establish contact. Breaks my heart.

    Answer by mommy22miracles at 2:30 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • His wife knows about me and has met me, long long story! His oldest son knows me and I think his wife is the reasoning for him not contacting me, thats another long story!

    Answer by mommyof20507 at 3:17 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Send him a letter. Have it posted so that he and only he has to sign for it. Tell him you will call him in a week if you haven't heard from him. Good luck.

    Answer by onethentwins at 5:32 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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