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What would u do if this was your brother??

So my brother (31) decided he needed a new start and moved from Memphis to come stay with me and my family in California. He has been here for 5 months now and it is horrible!!! My hubby is on deployment and I have two kids. He watches TV, hes on fb everyday all day, and the phone!!! He doesnt help me with my two kids, pay for ANYTHING or help with cleaning up!!! Anyways he just got a job that he starts tomorrow and apparently he needed some steeltoe boots. While we were at Walmart he didnt say a thing so while I'm driving home I get a call from my Mom asking how much the boots cost and I'm like what boots!!! Then he looks at me and says yeah he needs some boots so I turned around and went to two other store that were close so I wouldnt have to go back to Walmart. Turns out Walmart was the only place that had the boot so I had to go back there. Mind you I dislocated my toe so I'm walking with a limp, my kids are fussy and want to go home, and I'm running out of gas!!! So we finally get back to Walmart and he gets his boots THAT I HAVE TO PAY FOR and he didn't even say THANK YOU!!! He acts like I was SUPPOSED to get the boots for him!!! I am soooo pissed!!! He does nothing but make my life inconvenient and I am sooo fed up!!! Would you be mad??? What would you do??

 
mUstBdeStiny08

Asked by mUstBdeStiny08 at 11:09 PM on Dec. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,208 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I don't know how old he is, but I would tell him...."You're my brother and I love you, but you're an adult and you have to pay your own way and follow the house rules....if you want to live here you need to do these things (give him a list) and, you need to pay for your own things. If you can't do this you'll have to find another place to live." I would lay out the house rules, and the chores you expect from him very clearly. Have you told your mom the problems you're having??
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:15 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • 31 years old? He most definitely should be taking care of himself! Give him a strict time limit for him to be out on his own.
    Noosa

    Answer by Noosa at 11:12 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • If it was my brother, I would tell him that I was sorry but it just isn't working out with him living with us. I wouldn't put up with that. You were kind enough to take him in for awhile, but he has completely taken advantage of you. It'd be one thing if he was paying for stuff and helping you around the house, but he's acting like he is one of your children, and he's a grown ass man! He needs to get a "fresh start" somewhere else and start being responsible. Brother or not, no one should treat you like that or make you uncomfortable in your own home.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:12 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • No I wouldn't be mad. I'd be disappointed but then again I would have set down boundaries before I agreed to let him move in. Maybe he was too embarrassed to ask you for the boots which is what mom knew and why she called. Tell him to communicate with you better. Set down a price for rent and food now that he's working. It's your home. Stay in control.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:17 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Sorry, I see now where you said he was 31.....heck, he's just plain too old for this, he needs to find his own place to live.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:16 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Ya, I agree with Ash. There's helping out a family member and then there's getting screwed by one. Kick him out in two weeks.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:16 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I would be pissed. I would tell him now that he's starting the new job, if he doesn't move out, he needs to pay rent and contribute to the household as if he was any other renter.
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 11:18 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I would be nice about it but be straight forward and tell him it's not working out and you have your own family you have to take care of and he's old enough to take care of himself. It's not right that you let him live their and he helps with NOTHING!
    misspriss_1987

    Answer by misspriss_1987 at 11:21 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • Why did he need a fresh start? Your mom knew about his boots. There is something going on between you and your brother. There are things that should have been discussed between the two of you prior to this time. The should have been discussed prior to his coming. Is he depressed? Is he on drugs? When will your husband be home? Have you talked to him about the problems? If there is all this animosity going on, it would be difficult to get beyond it. Hopefully with the job his self image and confidence will grow and he will be more helpful to you.
    It is important that expectations be established. Calm and non demeaning discussion of expectations should be discussed.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:34 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

  • I'd tell him he has two weeks to find himself a different place to live, and stick to your guns. You have enough stress. He's an adult and should fend for himself. Time to grow up and accept responsibility for himself
    AshleyBishop06

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 11:43 PM on Dec. 12, 2010