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5 Bumps

My husband says we fell in love too early...What do I do?

My husband writes me a letter telling me that he thinks that we fell in love too early. He had a really bad childhood and he says that when he met me that I was his ticket out of his dads house and into what he had always wanted (car, phone, job, games, money). What does that mean? Is he telling me that he wants to split up or what? He also says that I take advantage of him since he is the only one working. I babysit so I am not sure what he means by that.

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Mellisa_Gross

Asked by Mellisa_Gross at 12:39 AM on Dec. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (65 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • If you don't really get what he is trying to tell you, the best think to do is to have a good talk. I would find a babysitter for your kids so you guys can go out and talk long. If he is okay with that write down all your concerns and bring them out to him .

    That is not fair on his part that you are doing what you can and he doesn't appreciate that. The worst thing you can do it is to try to figure out what he means without asking him. But just be open and talk to him. GL girl
    bratgirln1

    Answer by bratgirln1 at 12:46 AM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • It means that he is a selfish jerk that is trying to let you down easy. Take advantage of him? I am assuming that you are taking care of his children as well as other kids too. He is not worth it.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:47 AM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • what he is doing is trying to make you say it... as in asking him if he wants a split so it's easy for him.... i'm sorry to me that is just a chicken shit.... and to come out and tell you that you were just and easy way out of his shitty life.... oh no no... you don't need that hun... get out well you can cause he is trying to do the same thing just make sure he doesn't have any tricks up his sleeves.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 3:01 AM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • That is a man's way of making YOU be the one to call it off. That way HE is really not to blame. GRRRRrrrr........that tics me off to no end. I agree with Lynnsae, he is being a chicken shit. You tell him he HAS to tell you to your face and not some letter. You are his WIFE not some junior high school girlfriend for goodness sakes.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 3:06 AM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • I agree with the other ladies.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 1:32 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Keeping the kids is work!!! i agree with the other ladies to!! I also think that i feel in love to early and now i am unhappy, not because of where i am but the little effort he puts in to make things work...you guys should talk..like soon!!
    Onenamillion

    Answer by Onenamillion at 4:29 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • I would act like I didn't get his silly letter. What kind of man doesn't have the nerve to say something in person but instead writes you a letter? I would pretend that I knew nothing about this and make him have to speak up in person. My guess is he has found someone he thinks he likes better, but that's just my guess. Let him tell you, and then please don't grovel. If he wants out, let him make all the decisions and do all the dirty work. It could just be a passing fancy, but I would certainly wait him out. In the meantime, continue to be the ideal wife. If there's some little snippet thinking she's going to break up your home, you might just blow her plan sky high by being the ideal wife. If he wants to play games, you can play, too. And, no, there's no such thing as falling in love too early. I met my hubby when I was 14, and we've been married almost 46 years. So, what he's saying is not the truth.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:32 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

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