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am i paranoid or is he cheating?

my boyfriend and i have been together for a while now, but i just can't trust him. he has a woman best friend who he almost dated before he met me, and every time we all go somewhere together, she is always following him around closely, and trying to be near him, even racing in front of me some places. She calls and texts him all the time. when me and him broke up for a few months, i found text messages from her asking when they were going to be together, and how she wanted to be the one to make him happy, etc. i know for a fact that she stays the night at his house, and he doesn't tell me sometimes.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Nov. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • he might and might not be and you might never know unless he is honest with you, but with something like that id be paranoid too
    mommadent

    Answer by mommadent at 2:59 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • (CONT'D)
    he won't usually hold my hand or anything when we're in public, and sometimes gets close to her, as in their bodies touch, when we're out and he's always messing around with her, punching, fake kicking, etc. i've confronted him and he says nothing is going on, they are just best friends.

    am i being paranoid or do you think he could be cheating?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I think that you should kick him to the curb!!!!
    You dont deserve to be put through this.....
    Racinggal05

    Answer by Racinggal05 at 3:00 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • IMO, if you are in a committed relationship, you should not have close friends of the opposite sex. It causes issues such as the one you are going through. Whether or not your suspicion of him cheating with this woman are warranted or not, he needs to respect you enough to maintain some space between him and this woman. And her spending the night at his house? Why? What reason is there for her to stay the night at his house? None except that they are sleeping together. I'm sorry...I could not stay with a boyfriend who was THAT close to another woman. My husband would never dream of having a female friend like that. Don't get me wrong, he has female friends, but nothing as to what you have described with your boyfriend. Good luck to you!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I think you have answered your own question.. Hes having his cake and eating it too.. You have a choice of being a part of that or leaving them to have their affair.. Its your choice.. To me you are being made a fool of.. I'm sorry, dear..
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 3:03 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • i don't think he is cheating but i think he is keeping her on the back burner waiting for him in case he dumps you. she would have told you and that would of broke you guys up. she would have her reward. i say you should dump him if he can't dump her. she obviously wants him and i think if he really loved you he'd hold your hand and let her go. why bother with asking if he is cheating isn't his behavior and disrespect enough to break it off. he isn't in love with you. sorry but if he was you would be made to know for sure. that's what guys do when they love you, show you. he unfortunately doesn't. kick the loser to the curb.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:07 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • sounds like she is the problem not him. i have a male best friend i've had for about 15 years. when we met he flirted with me, but my more forward friend ended up with him. he & i just ended up being great friends & she hated it. but nothing was going on. we spent many nights at each other's houses often in the same bed... nothing. after i moved across country & didn't see him for a few years, i got my feelings confused when he came here on business & we reconnected. i actually tried to get him to have a relationship with me & he remained just as good of a friend but turned me down. we're both married now & no hard feelings. he probably doesn't tell u bc he knows it's hard for you to understand the friendship. u should be clear that honesty is most important & ask him to have a talk with her. if you continue to be serious, she should be your friend too & respect your relationship.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:07 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • just remember, before you came around he had plenty of opportunity to be with her and didn't. it may be that she gives him alot of grief for being with you and he just doesn't want to aggravate. they are comfortable with each other. but it does sound like he is less serious about the relationship than you are...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:09 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • GIRL WAKE UP AND DUMP HIS ASS
    NATTY567

    Answer by NATTY567 at 3:10 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I think he is playing you for a fool..He is dating both of you it sounds like to me..Her spending the night over at his house...Your joking right..He wouldn't be my BF ...Your BF is no good
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:10 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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