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5 Bumps

How would you react to this statement?

A little backround:

Sat. evening my DH was putting our almost 2 yr old DS down for the night, DS still has trouble falling asleep.....after 45 mins for so of DH being in there, I hear him say
"Then get your ass out here"

I was, and am still pissed about the way dh spoke to our son. This happened sat evening and I have barely said 3 words to him, other than telling him he was out of line.

Am I over reacting?

 
monkiesbugs

Asked by monkiesbugs at 9:47 AM on Dec. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 5 (81 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • Was it right...no, But if it was just a moment of frustration and not the norm I would let it slide. We're human and sometimes we make mistakes. Now if this becomes normal I would step in, cause on a day to day bases there is no reason to talk to a child like that.

    You could start breaking the laying down with him, it just takes a little work. I have used it a few times myself. Start talking to him about how daddy isn't going to be laying with him every night, on those nights lay down with him, then start sitting in bed. No playing and minimal interaction, other then to lay him back down if he get's up. After a week move to a chair. Another week move by the door, then start getting up to "do something" then come back, keep at this and eventually he will do it on his own.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 1:48 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • That's a horrible thing to say to a child, I don't think you're over-reacting, but giving your DH the silent treatment isn't going to help anything. You should sit down with him and explain how that made your son (and you) feel.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:51 AM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Yes, because I know even I get frustrated and lose my temper with my child. I have said similar things to my four year old (not that it is right and it is a rare occasion and one I'm working on). I think maybe you need to chat with your hubby about watching his temper with your child and maybe tell him to come get you so he can get a breather when things aren't going well at bedtime. I don't think hubby deserves the silent treatment though, none of us are perfect.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 9:52 AM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • No, it's just a word. I don't know why people make them out to be such a big deal. Anyway, it's not like your not gonna hear that word on tv anyway.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Something similar happened when my oldest son was just a baby. I came home from school, and I guess he had been crying nonstop for over an hour. My husband had tried everything, and couldn't get him calmed down. As I was walking in the door, my husband said, "Fine, you just lay there and f@#$ing cry!" and walked out of the room. I scooped up my son and had him calmed down in a few minutes. I waited until my husband had calmed down (no point trying to discuss things while he's still so frustrated) and told him I never wanted to hear him speak to our child that way again. I will not tolerate him speaking to me that way, and he needs to treat our children with the same respect.

    Of course it's difficult when you get angry or frustrated to watch what you say, but yelling profanities (especially at children) really doesn't help the situation any.
    my2.5boys

    Answer by my2.5boys at 9:57 AM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • I can totally understand being pissed off over that. I would have been, too. But, sometimes people snap, even parents. It's not pretty, and it should NOT happen very often, but if that's the first time it's happened, maybe he just lost his cool because of stress and being tired and stuff like that. I would ask him what happened to make him snap like that and (depending on his answer), cut him a break this time, but if he does it again any time soon, I would really let him have it. Also, who normally puts your son down for the night, you or him? If it's you and he's not used to it, I'd say that he just hasn't developed the patience for it yet. If that's the case, start putting him to bed together as much as you can until he gets used to it.
    Mrs.BAT

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 9:54 AM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • There is no reason to talk to a child like that. It was going to far in IMO. We can get through to them without using foul language.
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 10:43 AM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Oops not exactly 3 days yet lol but still too long.
    tnmomofive

    Answer by tnmomofive at 12:17 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • That is not abusive. It is just a word. Would you have liked if he said, "Get your butt out here."
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 12:41 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • What did he mean by "Then get your ass out here"? He was putting your DS to bed?
    Why does it take 45 min to lay your son down and leave the room and shut the bedroom door.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:52 AM on Dec. 13, 2010

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