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How do you you decide between...

a man you have been with for years through many hard , hard times but is disrespectful about your feelings and someone who promises the world. a life full of fun, plenty of money, claims to love you, thinks you are beautiful but isn't yet divorced form his wife of 23 years who is the only woman he has ever been with?


i'm trying not to be blinded by love....lust... money... and desperation to be truly loved unconditionally

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Nov. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Sounds like you need to move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • ok the one with money is using you...ive heard this story so many times. he wont get divorced, ever. he'll keep using you as a fucktoy and a fling and thats it
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 3:19 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • its not worth it. if the first is disrespectfull and u have had it. then leave. iknow easier said then done.. but at the same time dont buy in to the second ones "claims". i have learned the hard way things arent always as they seem. be carefull.
    sweetestkitten

    Answer by sweetestkitten at 3:20 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Uhh, neither would be my choice. First of all, you've got a man that you said disrespects you. That's a no-no in my book. No one disrepects me. Second, you've got a man that is having an affair and is making you all of these promises, but won't divorce his wife, or hasn't yet. Sounds like a real catch to me. Why don't you drop both of them and play it single for a little while. Do some soul searching, find out who you really are instead of relying on a man. Then, when you are ready, seek out a relationsip.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • um... all that glitters is not gold. if player #2 meant what he said he's have left the wife first. and even if he does, what makes you think you wouldn't be the next wife to be cheated on. relationships are hard. what you need to ask yourself is if the disrespect is a new thing and what's behind it and can you resolve it or if it's just that you're finally just sick of it... when you say you've been through many hard times is it because you've been putting up with shit all this time? whatever you decide, love yourself enough to demand real love, which is completely honest and is with someone who treats you like the treasure you are. no relationship is without problems, but there are some that are not acceptable.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:22 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • neither sounds like a good option and i think you shouldn't be messing with another guy while married. no wonder your husband has no respect for you. i wouldn't whether he knows or not obviously you don't have any respect for yourself and therefore how could he. the later sounds better but he is married and i don't believe you will be blessed when you are in sin. it just doesn't work that way. he won't leave his wife and if he hasn't already with you until you give him the go ahead then he truly doesn't want to leave her in the first place.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:24 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Answered at 3:19 PM on Nov. 7, 2008 by: moki1984
    ok the one with money is using you...ive heard this story so many times. he wont get divorced, ever. he'll keep using you as a fucktoy and a fling and thats it

    Have to agree sounds like your his little puppet on the string and if you choose to let someone treat you like that with no respect then your the fool People can PROMISE the world it's the truth when they ACTUALLY follow through with it LOVE yourself first then let someone else that truly loves you into your life NOT a USER
    tamster8280

    Answer by tamster8280 at 3:29 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • If you do not want to be the other women any more...You need to just move on and find a man that you will be #1 in his heart.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:39 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Honestly I don't think either one of them are worth your time. There is a reason the other man has not left his wife, why ruin your marriage if you're not sure when he hasn't walked away from his yet. When it comes to your disrespectful hubby it's your right to walk away from a miserable situation. My best advice to you is to walk away for you not for one or the other man. You'll never be happy with yourself if you find that happiness in someone else.
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 3:52 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Most of the time when I look at people's answers, it get complicated because there are a couple different answers. When I was looking at the answers in here, it is obvious what you need to do...If the one your with is not treating you right and is not willing to change, you deserve better and if the other guy is having an affair and promising you the world, he will do it to the same things behind your back or to you. You are better off without both of them...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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