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My husband and I are arguing about my daughter race

I'm white and my husband is cuban. We've been arguing alot about our daughters race is considered. He want to consider her cuban, you know when she has to fill out papers to write cuban. It makes me upset because she is both white and cuban. she has dark hair and her skin is white. I may be making a big deal about this, but it just upsets me that he doesn't want her to be called white. I've tried talking to him about it but he just won't listen to me. Does anyone have any advice?

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Asked by cmjt at 3:40 PM on Nov. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • maybe you guys can agree to mark other. since that is truly where she falls into. why make a big deal. if you fill the paper work in put whatever and if he fills it out he can put whatever. noone really cares now days.

    Answer by melody77 at 3:44 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I agree with melody77. Other would be my answer.

    Answer by jenniferlee_12 at 3:48 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Hahaha.....I'm kinda in the same predicament, My daughters are puerto rican and white, they have the dark features but a light complection like mine. When filling out papers on their race I just put Bi-racial if they don't have that option or it's only caucasian or hispanic I put other lol then I explain caucasian and hispanic :) My girls dad always corrects me too, he even has my oldest daughter always saying " I'm a puerto rican girl"

    Answer by Nat_n_LilsMom at 3:48 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • my daughter has real trouble filling out forms... her father was black, mexican, and irish. for a while the choices were white, black, asian, hispanic (not black), and a couple others she didn't fit into - you can only mark one down for school registration... i was like do i have to do this. does it really matter??

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:48 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • It doesn't really matter either way to be honest other then just a way to classify when they look at the forms. But I'm with the pp just mark other because she isn't caucasion and she isn't cuban she is mixed. Your hubby needs to understand that marking your daughter white isn't a bad thing neither is marking her cuban a bad thing. Compromise and mark other.

    Answer by bubblycute at 3:50 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I agree with pp. Not trying to defend your could be a MAN THING! You know pride regarding his heritage. Men are such strange I would suggest to him the OTHER selection and see how he reacts to that.

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 3:50 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • you might consider just expanding the conversation... as white people, our race doesn't matter really... when you are a minority, particularly with a strong cultural heritage, it is important. try to understand his point of view and realize that this may matter way more to him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Mark "other" unless they let you mark as many as needed. I am of many different races and I always mark "other". It doesn't mean that I don't identify with any one of my races.

    Why does he think it's ok to recognize her Cuban heritage only and not her Caucasian race? He needs to embrace both.

    Answer by Pollymom at 3:54 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • She sounds like a beautiful little girl and I am sure she is. I picture her looking like snow white.

    Well...By the way you described her she sounds like she is white but not all white children have dark hair the majority are blonde /blue eyes. Then again alot of your cubans have blonde hair and blue eyes but in your case I would have to say a light skin cuban. I m sorry I know that is not what you wanted to hear but she is half cuban and you know what you were getting into what the possibilities would be who knows maybe your next child will look 100% like you or 100% like him.
    On paper I would say she is cuban. It is like when some one marries a black person their babies have 50% black depending on how they look like more that is how people look at. This world is so cruel.

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 3:56 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I am mixed with black and white and I hardly ever see the "bi-racial" choice, I've always been told to mark african american or "black" but in some cases I put other because I felt that I wasn't just one race.Either way it doesn't matter because I knew what I was, it was just a piece of paper.So let your daughter decide what she wantes to mark.She'll still be. Your daughter and you know what race she is.

    Answer by Sarah0306 at 4:00 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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