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Suggestion on two misbehaving boys?

My kids have been misbehaving really bad lately. I have a 12 year old son and 7 year old son who have not been listening. My 12 year old thinks he can disrespect me and his father along with call us names. I have punished him by taking away video games and television but this seems to not be working. My seven year old is being disrespectful to his teacher and hitting other children. I have also had similiar consequences for his actions. I feel like my hands our tied because they continue to act out. The last straw for me was when they knocked the christmas tree over from wrestling around, so i just took it down. I told them that I was fed up and that if they did not start behaving that there would be no gifts on christmas. They know that the true meaning of christmas is jesus birth. Any suggestion or advice on how to handle their behaviours. Please do not be critical. Thank you

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Asked by stardust9803 at 6:24 PM on Dec. 13, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • You are not alone. Many mums fight their fights along you:)
    Tell them no treats until they don't learn to listen. Mean it, continue it. When they find out you mean it, they will start to listen.
    If they do something wrong, send them into their rooms. I would send both. So if one get punished, the other get punished as well. So after a time if one start to change would make the other being good.
    I wouldn't give them any attention when they are bad. I wouldn't make their breakfast (they are enough big to make their owns), I wouldn't make their beds and rooms, etc. I would just live my life like they are not there when they are bad. Children can't stand not to be seen. They want attention. When they don't get, they change their behaviour to find the right one to get attention.
    I know it is hard in the beginning but they will change quite quickly. Just stick with your husband and do the same thing with the boys. If they can se

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 6:31 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Has anything happened in their lives that would make them act out? It sounds like you're doing everything you can do right now and good for you for staying on top of things - I know it is hard!  Try to talk to each of them individually and see what they're getting out of behaving this way.

    Oh, and I would take away phone and computer privileges too!

    Hang in there! 


    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 6:39 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Try a behavior chart. Gold stars for good days, red marks for bad days. At the end of the week they get a reward (TV time, time to play a video game, etc.--nothing that costs money) for behaving. If they don't earn a reward then they get nothing special. Perhaps that will help. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:45 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Family conference time. Find out if there is anything going on to cause their behavior. Explain how their behavior makes others feel, including you. Ask them if it were their child acting this way what would they do? Sometimes their form of punishment is much stronger than ours would be. Take their suggestions and use them, with you and hubby both sticking to your guns.

    The main thing is never to back down once you've told them a consequence for their actions. They will try you every chance they get, and as parents the hardest part is for us to be consistent. Believe me, kids the world over are alike on this one! Wishing you the best of luck!

    Answer by NanaR46 at 6:50 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • I have to agree with NanaR46 its time for a sit down family conversation. Understanding where this behavior is coming from, and how it makes others feel. I did with this with my now 16 year old when he was almost 15 due to the way he was talking to me personally (he was fine with everyone else at the time). It worked wonders for him and our relationship (not that our relationship was bad to begin with but I didn't want it going in a downward direction).

    Stating the consequence for the behavior before it happens, and then sticking with it. Consistency is the key.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:12 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

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