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3 Bumps

why am i always the black sheep of the family

1st it was Thxgiving..now im wrong for Christmas..i wont go over to my mothers adoptive family house for the holiday..not because im purposely being mean..but im tired of going around them an all i hear is how much money my aunt&uncle have..how well they an their 3 kids are doing..or how well her other grandkids are doing..how beautiful her other grandkids an great grandkids are...i have sat there for yrs an listened to it..im just tired of it..yes i know that im not her blood grandchild but i dont think u should make feel that way..now everyone thinks that i am wrong..i dont think i am..im just tired of feeling like im not really counted to them..
am i being too harsh to them or do i have a right not to want to go..

Answer Question
 
FreeSpriT4eva

Asked by FreeSpriT4eva at 10:00 PM on Dec. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,168 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I am sorry that you feel this way. It is their loss.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:03 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Start your own family tradition in your home. You don't need them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • If they always make you feel you are not a part of the family, then you have every right to feel that way. Tell them how you feel and hopefully they might understand.
    sweet29mom

    Answer by sweet29mom at 10:04 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Listen you do what you need to do to ensure you and your family have a GREAT holiday. Find something fun for you and yours. It can be anything no matter how simple or elaborate, something that is just for YOUR family. Don't let anyone make you feel bad, for doing what it takes to make sure you and yours have a wonderful holiday. BIG HUGS
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 10:09 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • I always feel that way with my stepdad's family. He has been married to my Mom since I was 5 years old and never had any kids of his own, but I still feel like an outsider anytime I go over for holidays. They treat neighbors and friends more like family than they do me & my mom. So last Christmas I just didn't go. This year will probably be worse because my "cousin" is pregnant, and it will be the first REAL great-grandbaby for my stepdad's mom. Between wanting to be pregnant again myself and everyone gushing over her and her pregnancy, I don't think I'll be able to handle it. I don't blame you at all for not wanting to go over there.
    FluffyMamaBunny

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 10:12 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • ty ladies..my hubby doesnt have any family since his mom past 4yrs ago..an my moms real family is even worse an my dads family is 9hrs away..it makes it hard to enjoy holidays sometimes cause it gets so lonely for me an my family..my hubby says he will cook Christmas dinner like he did Thxgivin for us but it still gets lonely on what supp to be a joyouse day..
    FreeSpriT4eva

    Comment by FreeSpriT4eva (original poster) at 10:18 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • aww thats not your fault .. i feel the same way im sick of my aunt always bragging on how her son is sooo perfect .. i feel excluded from the family :( your not the only one hun :( im sorry that this is like that for you .. i hope they some how say their sorry or maybe try to show more love for you :) you have a love and kids what more could you brag of :) they think that their lives are boring and un acheived that they have to talk and brag about others because their life is probably bad :)
    Luckyme3487

    Answer by Luckyme3487 at 10:59 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • ty..tho they actuallly have a lot..but they had a great start from birth..i havent but i think i did pretty gd under the circumstances i was given..
    FreeSpriT4eva

    Comment by FreeSpriT4eva (original poster) at 11:17 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • I am adopted and have had the same feelings. You do need to start your own traditions and family gatherings. Love your kids and yourself and don't worry what anyone else says or thinks.
    christina.1980

    Answer by christina.1980 at 12:29 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • ty..i would never make my step or adopted children feel this way..
    FreeSpriT4eva

    Comment by FreeSpriT4eva (original poster) at 12:38 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

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