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How can I deal with severe separation anxiety in toddlers?

My daughter is a one and a half,and she has started have severe separation anxiety. This is starting to become a problem, becuase although I do not work, and I am a stay at home mommy. I can not handle this. She is my first child, and I have tried all the things that I have looked up on the internet. It seems that it is most differcult for her when either her father or myself leave, or it's time for her to go to bed in her own room. I do not know

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lydiasmommy21

Asked by lydiasmommy21 at 11:11 PM on Dec. 13, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • This too shall pass, and eventually she won't want you around at all.... It is all about perspective.
    Georgie_Peaches

    Answer by Georgie_Peaches at 11:13 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Thank you for your response. I can only hope that it will pass sooner than later. Like I said she is my first, and its a lot to take on.
    lydiasmommy21

    Comment by lydiasmommy21 (original poster) at 11:23 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • She will be less attached when she learns that she is okay without you...YOU are her security object right now.

    It might help if she starts napping in her room during the day. Have something that you can do (a book or knitting...something like that) quietly in her room, so she sees you are there, but let her learn to fall asleep without you holding, rocking, patting or aiding her. You are still with her, but the sleeping is up to her.

    Also, when she becomes distressed because you aren't holding her or looking at her, don't share that distressed energy. Always present a calm, caring but unconcerned demeanor. It will help her to see that everything really is okay.

    I know it's really hard to be patient with this phase, but it won't last forever...it just FEELS that way sometimes.

    (My darling daughter was VERY clingy...sometimes, just a little, I miss those days.) :-)
    ss_mom

    Answer by ss_mom at 11:42 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • thank you...I will have to try to...If that works I will be the happiest mommy in the world. (I know my moms says the same things)
    lydiasmommy21

    Comment by lydiasmommy21 (original poster) at 11:49 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • It is hard but you can do it. you have to start in very small intervals. at first you do things like just go to the bathroom, but you have to explain to her that you are going and you wil be back in 5 minutes explain to her that 5 minutes is as long as a commercial on tv or a song that she likes and when you come back say "see i am back" you do this periodically throughout the day and at different lengths of time. she will begin to trust and understand that you will be back. just remember it is important to be back when you say!! also you can give her a task that will take up some time ot a job to do while you are gone which will pre occupy her ...good luck
    SunshineDee

    Answer by SunshineDee at 12:18 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

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